Hermit Denizen

christina bothwell

For those who needed to hear it today

I hate autoplay what do you mean I've been listening to god in my sleep

you died and went to heaven

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

Perfectly normal things will seem aggravating if u are already mad about something so if u don't chill it'll keep getting worse

locking your brother away in the eternal torment nexus but getting worried he'll get lonely is some kind of sibling dynamic for sure one of the most of all time maybe even

This comment was left on a post about making the most of the Libby app. "Excessive use of generous lending policies" is the most absurd phrase I've ever seen anyone use to discuss libraries.

evergreen

If you receive a call, hang up and call back using the phone number on their website. Explain that you received a call about X and if it's legit, they'll be able to tell you so. They're also not usually going to get mad if you say "I'm going to hang up and call you back." Scams will though. Because you won't be calling THEM back, you'll be alerting the bank someone is committing fraud in their name. So they'll get urgent about it. Ignore them and hang up. Call back on an actual line.

Credit: meg_langton_

oh hey i have one for this

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.