Header by just lgbtthings. Icon by queerstudiesnatural. She/her. 20’s. Lotr is the best and Frodo is amazing and I love him. Check out the tag awesome art to see a bunch of amazing and awesome art work. None of it is mine, it is my way of collecting my favorite artworks in one space. If you do, make sure to give the artist(s) lots of love! They deserve it! Cosmere fan and a Lightweaver. Feel free to come and scream with me about all things fandom. (Especially The Untamed) Star Wars Legends will always have my love. I'm absolute shit at tagging but if you want me to tag something let me know and I’ll do my best.
I love the whole scenario of people who don't know the civilian indentity of the Bats and Robins and complain about them to their face. And while yes, in some runs Commissioner Gordon knows Dick is Robin and Barbara is Batgirl, I just find the scenario of Gordon ranting to Robin that Dick Grayson is dating Barbara hilarious for three reasons, Gordon is ranting to this teenager about his teenage daughter and her boyfriend, two: Dick is taking notes for their next encounter and three: he can make Gordon cut him some slack.
Gordon: That little punk took her to the movies last night.
Dick: Did he have her home on time? Because I know that's a deal breaker for you.
Gordon: He did.
Dick: Your daughter was happy when she got home?
Gordon, grumbling: Yes. But she came home wearing his stupid letterman jacket. I was a kid once I know what that means.
Dick: Maybe she was cold.
Gordon: Robin, see you're a good kid. You'd think that. But rich little punks like Dick Grayson? Raised by Bruce Wayne, no less?
Dick: I see why you might think that, but doesn't he keep curfew? And he drives safe? He follows your rules, Commish.
Gordon: You have a point. Not one damn speeding ticket.
Dick: Then maybe he's OK? I mean you said he's always polite when he comes over. Mrs Gordon likes him.
Gordon: I guess. But there's also that, the kid just thinks he can come to my door without asking me to take Babs out. He just shows up without even clearing it with me.
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I just think it would be funny if both Ben and Yoda came back in time to Obi-Wan’s pre-apprentice years and Yoda is all ‘fuck Qui-Gon I’ve got a Sith to murder’ and takes the kid for his own Padawan so they can plan and argue all day long and now Obi-Wan is sitting in on classified meetings and Mace is all ‘??????’ Cause he can’t convince Yoda to stop bringing him OR Obi-Wan to leave and the entire order is being relegated to the LOUDEST buzzing from their constant telepathic arguments and how to go about things but instead of it relieving them that Obi-Wan is giving back as much as he’s given, everyone is panicking every time Obi-Wan disappears from temple only to show up with new kids or slaves or Mandalorians and Yoda is all ‘ugh, we get it, you have a Mandalorian fetish, stop being weird’ and even ended up getting adopted by Mand’alor Mereel along with Obi-Wan when Obi-Wan told Mereel it would be funny and he’s basically a super old toddler and throws tantrums a lot and Jaster is all ‘free ade???? For me????????’ And Yoda is trying to kill a Sith (Palpatine has gone into hiding cause the force is telling him to run for his fucking life rn) and Obi-Wan is all ‘what if I saved Mandalore and also killed all the Hutts who deal in slavery and instated a no-slavery policy everywhere and also slowly tortured slavers to death???? I just think that would be cute’ and keeps bringing him people (like a 6 month pregnant Shmi lmao) to the temple and telling Yoda he’s got a new kid, deal with it.
Mace: *holding Obi-Wan by the back of his robes like a feral tooka* Master Yoda, control your Padawan before he gets himself killed with all your shenanigans!
Yoda: Think IM the bad influence, you do? Should have seen the last master who had him!
Obi-Wan: It’s true, Master Yoda makes me go to therapy twice a month at minimum and made me get trackers in my boots. I think he’s doing good. None of the pirates have found the trackers yet.
Mace: When did you end up with pirates??????
Obi-Wan: *vividly remembering Mama Ohnaka picking up Jango and him from a slavers vessel when Montrose tried to get over Jaster’s head and just get rid of the kid when he couldn’t kill Jaster* …okay so there’s this pirate named Hondo and a few years ago he picked me up and a few others and he’s like twice my age right now but he’s really nice and keeps insinuating I’m his son and that’s SUPER weird but I’m down because whenever I’m around he’s less wild and he helped me and my friend get rid of Death Watch when I got out of the temple when I was 13 and was brought back in a stolen ship? Yeah that was him he gave me the ship, and he’s actually rather nice-
Mace: That’s it. Grandmaster Yoda, I am stealing your Padawan, you are obviously not paying enough attention to him.
Yoda: sure. Go give him advanced saber lessons, he could use a refresher, have him back by bedtime.
Obi-Wan: Yay! Special training!
And then Mace learns that Obi-Wan is one of the best warriors in the temple and Mace can’t handle his snark so he sets him loose on the galaxy again. This time Obi-Wan comes back with Shmi and proudly declares he’s gonna be the master to her baby. Yoda looks at the woman and straight up hisses at her belly like an offended cat. It’s beautiful.
greatest dynamic in the world IS strange, eccentric asshole and their normal and polite friend who on closer inspection is actually worse in deeply weird and unexpected ways
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gameshow voice: is it gay subtext or are the writers just so catastrophically bad at writing female characters that the only relationships in the entire story that feel human are the ones between the men.
"Batman gave birth to me" is just the longest running lie Dickbin conjured when trying to explain how Batman acquired a child while not revealing their identities. Other lies he told the Justice League include:
He won me in a game of 'go fish'
They were draining a vat of chemicals the Joker had and I was just lying in the bottom
A gargoyle delivered me to him as a baby and I have been raised in his cave by his humanoid batservants ever since
He's actually my son from the future but when a time traveller came back and murdered the man who trained me he had to come back and take his place so I could learn how to become so awesome that his warrior goddess mother falls for me and we can make him
Someone lopped off his arm. He grew it back and I grew out of the limb
I am mark 2 of the super soldier programme that made him
Gotham has this whole cult that worships him and I was given to him as a sarcifice and everyone thought he would eat me but he didn’t so the cult was bummed out and disbanded
He hit his head really hard one day so I got him back to the cave and convinced him I had been there all along
I am a lord of chaos sent to wreak destruction upon this dimensional plane but he said I could dress up in bright colours and beat up people and that sounded awesome so... don't let me get bored I guess. My chthonic master still calls me up every so often to ask how the how destory the world thing is going
Terrible Fic Ideas #3: Re-Entry, but make it Obi-Wan and Yoda
If you've not noticed by now, I'm the biggest sucker for Time Travel Fix-Its that ever existed, and one of my absolute favorites is the Re-Entry series by the ever-wonderful flamethrower. In that series, post-RotJ Obi-Wan and Anakin are sent back to 4 years before TPM to save the Republic, and it's an absolutely wonderful ride. But one thing I've always wanted is Yoda to be thrown back in time in one of these fix-its.
Imagine it:
Yoda is the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order. He has the ability to make lasting changes to the order in a way that young Padawan or newly knighted Obi-Wan alone couldn't. He's also had ~25 years alone in a swamp without even the passing human contact Obi-Wan got on Tatooine to reflect on all the things that went wrong, and stuck around as a Force Ghost at least until TLJ.
Not that I imagine TLJ happening in this AU - to kick it off I imagine Luke not managing to make it off the second Death Star after Anakin dies, and Anakin and Leia's anguish in the Force managing to hurl the watching Force ghosts into the pasts, where they can keep Luke's death from ever happening.
And so you have Yoda and Obi-Wan being thrown back to, say, 52 BBY. Obi-Wan, now only five years old, wakes his crechemate's up with a "vision", and for decades afterwards the younglings swear that on certain nights you can year an echo of absolute and complete anguish in the Force.
But the end result is the same: 5 year old Obi-Want has his memories of the next 52 years alive and 4 additional years of being a Force ghost. The transition is somewhat less abrupt for Yoda, who is 800+ at this time.
Unlike Re-Entry, the only one Yoda and Obi-Wan tell (at least at first) that they've traveled through time is Mace - and only then because Obi-Wan is very obviously not a normal 5 year old anymore. (And even then it's more of an accident Mace finds out. Instead Yoda just sort of pushes Mace at Obi-Wan "to help him get a handle on his visions and train him in the ways of the Force", and in the end Mace finally puts two and two together after sort of assuming he's just going crazy or being punked.)
Actually, confused!babysitter Mace is half the drive for this plot bunny. He's so confused and Yoda is being even more of a troll than usual, and he's not prepared at all to deal with such a small child, but honestly half the time it feels like Obi-Wan is the one taking care of him, and just so much confusion.
Together, between Yoda being the Grandmaster and Obi-Wan's weaponized cuteness as a youngling, they are able to prevent some things that contribute to the fall of the Republic. (Galidraan et al).
Obi-Wan is taken as Mace's Padawan fairly young, and no one really considers it too be too odd how good he is so young given that Mace was his Master and Yoda's been his mentor since the creche, but he's definitely considered to be an odd child. As one might expect of a ~60 year old being suddenly stuffed into his 5 year old body. When it eventually comes out that he's a time traveler, it answers a lot things people didn't realize they were questioning.
But mostly confused!babysitter Mace, troll!Yoda, and baby!Obi-Wan.
As always, feel free to adopt the bunny. Just link if you end up doing anything with it.
Obi-Wan: (Sighs like an old man) I must say I'm glad not to be on the council at the moment. Have you read my proposal on Hutt investments portfolios? I know you're busy with Xanatos' nonsense, but if we move soon we could prevent Jabba from gaining ground in thirty years.
Mace: you should be learning how to mix colours with paint, not sending me paperwork in the middle of the night, Master Kenobi.
Obi-Wan: (gestures to neat paint pallet with colours mixed) I already know how to do that.
Yoda: doubt that I do. Knowing is not understanding.
Obi-Wan: that doesn't even mean anything. You can't tease me just because I'm small now.
Yoda: size matters not. Tease you I always will.
Obi-Wan: well that's true (eye roll)
Mace: I have enough paperwork Kenobi. Stop sending me paperwork.
Obi-Wan: well I would send it to another Master, but you're the only one that knows of my predicament and you won't let me use your name, and Master Yoda has always been awful with written proposals, no one would believe it.
Yoda (has brought out the paints Obi-Wan had with him and has started mixing colours)
Mace: Master you can't just mix paint on the tile!
Yoda: fear the mess it will make, hmm?
Obi-Wan: you're impossible. (Starts doing it as well) I never enjoyed making a mess, even at this age.
Yoda: fear of the future that is.
Obi-Wan: here he goes.
Yoda: to live in the moment, without fear of the mess of the future, that is the way of a Jedi.
Mace: (watches the two of them paint pictures on the ground. It's a complete mess)
Obi-Wan: I don't fear the future.
Yoda: hah!
Obi-Wan: I'm stressed! Stressed isn't the same thing as fear.
Yoda: come from fear stress does. Anxiety. Make a cloud you should.
Obi-Wan: (examines his tile of art work, adds a cloud)
Yoda: stress Master Mace has trouble with too. (Pointedly looking at Mace who is just watching the mess unfold)
Mace: (sighs, takes the hint, sits on the floor and dips his finger in the purple Obi-Wan mixed) I have many things to do.
Yoda: but right now you are painting.
Mace: I can't tell if you're both being serious or messing with me.
Obi-Wan: it can be both, Master. (Makes a face) I'm going to have blue hands for a week.
Mace: have you always been anxious, Master Kenobi? You always seem very confident and composed. It was eerie when we first met, seeing a child so poised.
Obi-Wan: yes, well I don't want anyone to know I'm anxious. Too many people rely on me.
Yoda: like someone else that is.
Mace: well... Right now you're at an age you don't need to be so independent.
Obi-Wan: I'm older than you are, Master. My crude matter doesn't reflect who I am inside. I can't just turn off my worries. It was easier in the end. In the desert... But it's hard to grasp now. I found my balance and peace, but in the here and now I find myself at odds with my knowledge. Every stray thought and memory of something that could be changed for the better.
Mace: changing the future is dangerous.
Obi-Wan: not changing it is more dangerous.
Mace: if you become obsessed you risk losing yourself. You need an anchor.
Obi-Wan: I know. (Focuses back on his painting) The future is always in motion. I am not changing anything. I am simply existing in the now. The ripples for good or ill can rarely be controlled or focused. However is it not my duty to follow where the Force has led me and do good?
Mace: ... (I feel very young suddenly)
Yoda: talk too much you do, Master Kenobi.
Obi-Wan: well it's been awhile since anyone has been kind enough to listen, Master Yoda. Force knows you don't have the attention for it.
Yoda: accuse me of senility do you? Focused I am on the present (gestures at his paint mess). Rambling on the old days you are.
Obi-Wan: who is the more senile? The old man or the old man that tries to talk to him?
Mace: (looking at the five year old who just said that. He has a splotch of blue paint on his cheek) no more proposals in the middle of the night, Kenobi. You'll get an ulcer at six.
Obi-Wan: (prim and proper) and when exactly did you get your first stress ulcer Master Windu?
Star Wars is an interesting (not saying successful, mind you, just interesting) story to examine with consideration of disability portrayal. I could talk at length about Vader, Luke, or even Grievous, but of course, you know me.
I’m here to yap about Sifo-Dyas.
Cut for meta essay discussion of disability and mental illness and representation
Sifo-Dyas is a particularly intriguing character to look at through this lens. He is a rare thing in the saga: a Jedi who is portrayed outright as living with a disability (and/or mental illness).
This is not a case of a hero whose hand is cut off and then it’s never mentioned again because sci-fi tech has effectively "solved" it with a fantasy-perfect accessibility device. Neither is he relegated to tokenism or moved to the sidelines to play quest giver. Uncommonly, Sifo-Dyas's symptoms are realistic and have severe consequences, while he’s also simultaneously depicted as an active Jedi Master with tremendous power and responsibilities, both in universe and in his narrative role to deliver the plot setup for the entire prequels.
First off, can we even call the depiction of his visions disability-coded? Without applying real world diagnoses to fictional characters, I think we can summarize that he:
has severe neurological events which routinely place him in physical danger (he collapses midfight in the middle of a battlefield, his post-Knighting travel with Lene is contextualized - by Lene herself I believe - as care)
has devastating chronic symptoms (Lene's account of often finding him curled up in a ball in his quarters weeping), that have a meaningful impact on both his relationships and the work that he wants to do.
the threat of being not believed, and even institutionalized, are ever-present specters looming in his story. While this is in the context of fictional psychic abilities, it’s hard to read scenes, where, for example, Lene Kostana worries about a teen Sifo-Dyas being taken away from her training and locked away in the Citadel, without a chilling real-world echo with how some disabilities and mental illnesses are, or have historically been, treated.
At the same time, we could argue that Sifo-Dyas is one of the characters who exhibits the most agency in the (pre)prequels. His narrative role is as the guy who peers behind the curtain, who sees the plot and tries to change it. From trying to save Protobranch when he was sixteen, to the attempt to flood the Order with Jedi in his Seeker days, to the inevitable clone army, Sifo-Dyas is personally, actively, deliberately engaging with the plot. While his visions have consequences and other characters are visibly aware of their impact on his life, he still progresses from Knight to Master. He seems to have sat on the Jedi High Council for a number of years and is going on active missions well after that. In the Living Force novel, Mace Windu implies that the Council’s entire ability to see the future has been compromised by Sifo-Dyas’s death.
I got to thinking about this because I made myself sad about the cover story of Sifo-Dyas's "death on Felucia." The version of events the Council had for years before they uncovered the shuttle/Dooku connection near the end of the Clone wars.
On overview, it's such a bitterly believable story. A guy who publicly struggled his whole life with a debilitating, unpredictable power becomes increasingly destabilized, loses his job as a Seeker, and gets eventually kicked off or "resigns" from the Council after a big disagreement with them. Shortly afterward, he loses control of a tribal conflict on a mission and is killed. Off-screen funeral. Lightsaber doesn't make it back to the Temple. How much did assumptions of spiraling mental instability after a lifetime of living with with a debilitating condition impact how willing people were to believe a version of what happened to him?
Of course, the real reason Sifo-Dyas’s death isn’t properly investigated at the time is not because it’s meant to be a parallel to real life stories where police treat cases of missing people with mental health differently, but because there’s a massive coverup by the Sith, notably the Sith running the very Senate that sent Sifo-Dyas to his actual doomed mission instead of Felucia. (I’m very dubious of the Jedi Order treating Sifo-Dyas badly specifically because of his visions - the implications come only from Dooku who has AMPLE reasons to be an unreliable narrator about them, but that’s a whole different post.)
I have serious doubts about most of this being intentional, considered representation. So much of Star Wars theorycraft boils down to piecing inconsistencies into order, and Sifo-Dyas, the bastard child of a typo and half-scrapped first drafts, is a masterpiece of the kind of storytelling that creates these cracks. The contradictions in the character – chronically debilitated by his visions but a powerful, actionable high council member – could very well be not thoughtfully-considered representation, but an oversight that actually turned out in a really interesting way.
Still, I feel like, intentionally or not, those undercurrents remain important and a huge part of Sifo-Dyas's story - to the reader. To me, specifically, the person writing this essay, because I happen to live with mental illness and can relate to (some very small parts of) Sifo-Dyas’s life. Because like every other human being, I look to stories and want to see my experiences and make meaning. I think this is why representation hits so close to the nerve in Star Wars. It brings us back to being the wide-eyed nine year old, seeing the cool space wizard with the beautiful sword on screen for the first time, and that instinctive little kid feeling: that could be me, I want to play too.
I feel like the dynamic between Jedi Council members was criminally underutilized. While this isn’t canon, here are my headcanons on how things really went down.
Mace Windu:
I’ve done the math (badly), and I’m pretty sure Mace was around the same age as Xanatos. Which means Mace is like Obi-Wan’s unofficial older padawan brother. Obi-Wan didn’t ask for this, but let’s be real—he probably needed it. Not that Obi-Wan would recognize this dynamic. He’s part of the disaster lineage, so he wouldn’t know what a typical older brother acts like.
Mace seamlessly switches between “Head of the Council” mode and “exasperated big brother” mode. Except, of course, when he’s making Obi-Wan do all the paperwork.
Mace: "You're good at taxes, Kenobi. I’m just letting you shine." Obi-Wan: "I'm too honored to be insulted."
Yarael Poof:
This guy? Bigger gremlin energy than Yoda. And petty. Poof has perpetual beef with Ki-Adi-Mundi and finds great joy in trolling him. He’s the kind of guy who would take micro-naps during meetings just because “It’s only Mundi talking, everyone relax.”
Poof: "What was that, Mundi? Couldn't hear you over my sheer disinterest." Mundi: "I will demote you to Youngling wrangler, Poof."
Ki-Adi-Mundi:
The most logical thinker on the Council. He’s here to do his job, clock in, clock out, and keep the galaxy running. Unfortunately, the galaxy includes Qui-Gon and Poof, so it’s not happening. He despises surprises and strongly prefers order.
Poof: snoring in the corner
Mundi: "I swear to the Force, Poof..."
Even Piell:
Blunt. Gruff. Won’t lead a discussion but will absolutely cut into one. He’s the Jedi equivalent of “the friend who knows where to hide the body.”
Piell: "You’re the diplomat, Kenobi. I’m here to look mean so bad guys think twice." Obi-Wan: "What if we both look peaceful?" Piell: "We’ll die."
Gretz Doom:
The guy who grew up with Qui-Gon and spent his childhood teasing his clanmates, Gretz is now the Council’s strictest rule-follower. Why? Because he knows that if you mess with the Senate, the Senate will mess with the Jedi’s budget and oversight.
Doom: "Qui-Gon, did you directly disobey the Council again?"
Qui-Gon: "In fairness, the Council is often wrong."
Doom: "You’re lucky they don’t garnish your missions like they do our budget."
Tera Sinube (Retired):
The ultimate grandpa Jedi. Gives unsolicited advice, tells the same stories repeatedly, and refuses to admit that lightsaber duels aren’t "like they used to be."
Sinube: "Back in my day, we didn’t have fancy starships." Youngling: "How did you travel?" Sinube: "We walked. Uphill. Both ways. Through asteroid fields."
Youngling: "In space?"
Obi-Wan Kenobi:
Obi-Wan wanted to join the Council, found out it was a trap, and tried to quit—repeatedly. Every time he tries to mess up to get kicked out, he accidentally makes the galaxy better. Mace keeps him around because Obi-Wan’s life is the Jedi’s best unintentional reality show.
Mace: "Kenobi, you caused an intergalactic scandal again?" Obi-Wan: "Yes, but the scandal resulted in peace treaties for three systems, so..." Mace: "We are still not accepting you resignation letter"
Obi-Wan: “drats!”
Yaddle:
The only one brave enough to call Yoda out. Wise, patient, and kind, but she will not suffer riddles.
Yoda: "Difficult, the path is." Yaddle: "The budget’s tight. Just say that, Yoda."
Oppo Rancisis:
A reserved and analytical mind, Oppo specializes in strategy and seeing the bigger picture. His predictions about a rising Sith threat made him a quiet voice of reason long before others believed it.
Rancisis: "The Sith never vanished. They’re biding their time."
Mundi: "How do you know?"
Rancisis: "I just do.”
Eeth Koth:
An Anakin mirror. Eeth grew up as an angry orphan rescued by the Jedi, but he’s worked hard to control himself. Still, he’s known to clash with Mace and Grezzt Doom—occasionally on purpose. A former hothead turned disciplined Council member, Koth has a soft spot for Jedi who struggle with emotions, having once been in their shoes.
Koth: "Control your emotions, or they’ll control you."
Padawan: "Easier said than done."
Koth: "Trust me, I know. Now pick up your saber, we’re starting over."
Stass Allie:
A brilliant healer and fierce opponent of Senate corruption, Stass doesn’t tolerate nonsense. Most of her "menace energy" is reserved for politicians.
Senator: "The Republic is doing everything it can—"
Stass: "Then do better."
Senator: "I beg your pardon?"
Stass: "You heard me. Now get out of my medbay."
Adi Gallia:
The chillest Jedi off the clock, but the most cynical one during missions. She prefers intelligence to lightsabers (looking at you, Eeth Koth). Has a soft spot for Obi-Wan due to her long friendship with Qui-Gon. A calm and collected intelligence expert, Adi is the Council’s quiet strategist. She despises the war and blames the Senate for exploiting young Jedi.
Gallia: "The Senate sent Padawans to war."
Mace: "We needed soldiers."
Gallia: "We needed peace. What we got was child soldiers."
Yoda:
Wild card. Once a week, he’s doing something so bizarre that the other Council members have to pretend it’s normal.
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“We all found what we missed here. But what does Obi miss?”
They all frowned a bit at that trying to think about what Obi-Wan might be missing the most.
“Mandolorians!” Quinlan exclaimed when he failed to get a prompt response.
“Huh?” Siri asked. “What do they have to do with anything?”
“Obi loves Mandolorians,” Quinlan said, practically bursting with excitement now.
“That’s true,” Bant added.
“But where do we find Mandolorians?” Garen asked with a frown.
“Mandalore, duh!” Quinlan replied.
They each nodded.
“That seems reasonable,” Bant said.
-
Obi-Wan let out a pained sound and took a deep breath.
And then proceeded to let out a string of curses in Mando’a that would make Myles blush.
Jaster was impressed.
After Obi-Wan was done insulting everything from Quinlan’s intelligence to the entire Galactic Republic Jaster cleared his throat, trying to gain their attention once more.
“I am the Mand’alor,” Jaster affirmed, “and I think you commed for a reason, yes?”
“Obi-Wan is sad and misses his Mandolorians,” one of the previously unseen ad answered, appearing suddenly on the holo.
-
Mace, being the closest to Plo, leaned over only to catch a glimpse of his own signature.
“I did not sign that,” he pointed out.
“Oh, I’m aware,” said Plo. “Neither did Masters Yaddle or Dooku.”
Dooku let out a scandalized gasp at that.
Yes, obviously Dooku had not signed it either. Or Yaddle. Or Mace. It bore repeating.
“Are you saying that a padawan filled out these documents?” Master Rancisis asked.
Mace thought he sounded almost impressed.
“Forged them, more likely,” came Dooku’s grumbled response.
“Oh, Quinlan is not a padawan,” Plo said cheerfully, “he’s six.”
- We're Jedi. We've totally got this. by mytimeconsumingsidehobby
crack au time travel au where Obi-Wan gets yetted back into his teenage self and decides the only way he's going to hide the fact he's gone back in time is by pretending to be possesed by a random force ghost of a Jedi Master.
This is made far far funnier depending on what specifc time Obi-Wan is coming from. Is it a war-worn jedi master helpless at the defeat of his people? Is it a far older Jedi Master worn smooth by the sands of a desert planet?
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon being forced back into time but both have died in different times. Qui-Gon had his time in the Force, learning with the push and pull of it's motions, knows of Anakin's massacres and fall in fragments that hurt his very being in a manner that is closer to his heart imploding. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan is a master, a council member, a general yet still feels so inequipped as he stares at his dead master walking into the Creche too early.
Qui-Gon sees his padawan, tiny and yet older eyes than him, and picks him once more to train. Obi-Wan is pale at his words, like this action would condemn the Master to death. Maybe it will, maybe it won't.
okay you know what I think would be REALLY funny is if one to two years after Mustafar, before Vader has had time to really stew in his hatred, he runs into Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan is so shocked and horrified that Vader is in what is functionally a torture suit that he just… forgets to duck. Vader is happy for approximately one second before freaking out (and look, he’s definitely justifying it with “I wanted a fair fight! How can this be a satisfying end for him if he just gave up?” but it’s very clearly just him being distraught that Obi-Wan is dead), but instead of anything else he just… brings Obi-Wan back to life. He doesn’t know how. Doesn’t know why. Doesn’t even know that he did it. But it happens.
Cue Obi-Wan escaping and Vader chasing him around the galaxy deriding him for his use of dark magics to sustain himself, but it’s really just that Vader won’t let Obi-Wan die. He can’t kill Obi-Wan—or, well, he can, but it doesn’t stick—and it’s making him even crazier than usual. He wants Obi-Wan to DIE (but he doesn’t want him dead).
#this whole time obi-wan is just going like 'what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck' #because he has NO CLUE what's happening #like he JUST ran away to tatooine #and now suddenly anakin is in a torture suit #and obi-wan has not made his peace with dying #but he was PLANNING to make his peace with dying #so he's just like #is this.... a good thing? is this a bad thing? #am I coming back to life because I haven't meditated enough?? #if anakin would just slow down that torture suit of his #so they could talk this out #and perform some scientific experiments on this whole situation #then maybe obi-wan could get a handle on what's happening #when he proposes that Anakin roars in fury and explodes whatever ship or station they're on #and obi-wan is torn between 'dammit anakin' and 'hmmmm well that's another data point' (via @mandaloriandy)
Obi-Wan starts carrying around a folder full of his notes so he can upload them to space excel later and make a spreadsheet. He keeps trying to send the spreadsheet to Vader so he can add his data but Vader just ignores it. Obi-Wan finds this IMMENSELY exasperating. He suspects that’s why he can’t die—he’s too annoyed to become one with the Force.
#andy 'am i coming back to life because i haven't meditated enough' made me CACKLE #that is so incontrovertibly obi-wan #leave it to obi wan to think that he's so bad at handling his emotions that he can't die #after all a GOOD jedi who can die properly would never be having this problem #alas he's a terrible jedi for feeling terrified and annoyed and grief-stricken #he's very ashamed of it all (via @willowcrowned)
@phoenixyfriend said:
In Obi-Wan's defense, 'too angry to die' is Maul's actual deal for decades of should-be-fatal injuries, so it's not ENTIRELY out of the realm that Obi-Wan hasn't meditated enough and is, thus, too sad to die.
Obi-Wan, who has gotten two hours of sleep in the past week, makes this connection and promptly realizes there can be only one explanation for him avoiding death through emotion: he’s becoming a Sith. By accident.
i just think Anakin is the sort of person to get really really into conspiracies— I’m talking 5am forty-eight hours deep into a ‘the moon landing was faked’ binge but because they’re in space it’s more like ‘Corellia is actually hollow and filled with a little-known species of Force-sensitive moles’ binge.
Which means what I really want is Anakin, age twenty two and on leave for the week, accidentally taking a deep dive into a political conspiracy forum and finding someone’s ‘Palpatine is actually a Sith Lord and going to take over the government’ theory and because it’s Anakin, you know his first reaction is going to be to write a hate comment, but the problem with writing a hate comment deconstructing someone’s argument is that you actually have to read the argument in-depth and, uh oh, the person actually makes some pretty good points.
‘It’s fine,’ Anakin thinks, ‘I’ll just go ask Obi-Wan to help me write this reply.” So you get Obi-Wan bent over a space laptop at three in the morning, reading a fringe theory and wishing fervently that Anakin would stop using him as a solution to all his problems. He reads the post— grudgingly, of course, because it’s three in the bloody morning and we are on leave, Anakin— gets to the end of it, and realizes that kneelover69420 made some very salient points.
Obi-Wan calls the council at three in the morning and has to defend a fringe theory from someone on an Internet in front of the most revered and venerable Jedi in the galaxy. It is quite possibly one of the worst moments of his life.
no, you’re totally right. Because Anakin’s life is ridiculous, okay. He was a slave on an outer rim planet for the first nine years of his life, and then within the span of a few days he: wins a podrace, gets freed, gets adopted, flies a starship and wins a battle, gets orphaned by his new adopted dad, and gets adopted again by his dead adopted dad’s other son. So of course his baseline for what counts as weird is totally off-base.
Obi-Wan, who was raised in the temple and knows what the Force can and can’t do and at least somewhat how the world works for normal people, can look at a conspiracy theory and go ‘this is clearly fake,’ but Anakin? Virgin birth Anakin? Will look at a theory proposing that all water on Coruscant is actually distilled apple juice and go ‘you know what? sure. midichlorians exist, and all water on Coruscant being distilled apple juice is actually less crazy than that, so it must be real.’
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Maul at this point is an incredible exploration of being intelligent, skilled, knowledgeable, and frequently correct, and yet... struggling so much, because being raised by abuse tends to be a uh. Handicap.
This "handicap" is the damage to who he is and the cyclic nature of how he negatively affects the world around him, and receives a tougher situation roundabout in return. He is punished ultimately for a core problem he didn't create. Of course people don't trust the murder man, but damn... it sucks. doesn't it?
His story will ultimately be one of remaining a bit too governed by his fear and hatred to overcome his huge handicap. If done well, it'll sting a lot, because it will be very tragic and unfair when you zoom out.
All the same, it should also give us a lesson on steering wrong by chosen philosophy, and how it comes down to what you believe in that perhaps seals your fate the most. Maul has some bad takes, and he's not going to fix them.
Some people can afford to be pretty lame, and their situation allows them to get by anyway. Maul is actually pretty amazing, but he has so much working against him, he really can't afford to have his head in the wrong place. But he will, somewhat, to the end.
Star Wars is about hope. Perhaps Maul's story can offer us hope in showing the cracks where someone quite doomed can change their own destiny, but turns away from it. This means we can be different.
Just wondering does anyone know if Hondo Onaka has been the star of a Star Wars time travel fix-it? I just feel he would save things in the most unhinged and flamboyant way possible as a fantastic pirate captain.
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