self-control is a myth

first times they have sex, remus is kinda shy bcs of what he looks like while he cums so he tries to hide his face all the time. so first time he bottoms, sirius cups his face and kisses him through his orgasm, watching him lovingly so remus will feel more comfortable!!!! I LOVE THEM.

aww hi babe!! this headcanon is so soft and perfect i’m literally melting rn

i can totally see remus being all shy the first few times, especially when he bottoms, like trying to turn his head into the pillow or hide behind his arm the second he feels that build-up, because he’s convinced his face does something weird or vulnerable when he comes. he definitely has got this whole internal spiral about looking “stupid” or too exposed, scars and all.

sirius would notice immediately, of course, because that man is attuned to every little flinch remus makes. so the first time remus bottoms and starts doing the whole “hide my face” routine right as he’s tipping over the edge, like usual, sirius just gently catches his jaw with both hands, thumbs stroking over those flushed cheeks, and pulls him into a deep, slow kiss, not letting him look away, making it so loving and steady that remus can’t help but melt into it.

remus would probably make this tiny embarrassed noise at first, but sirius would just smile against his mouth, cup his face a little firmer and go “nuh-uh, stay with me, darling” and kiss him so sweetly through the whole thing that remus ends up letting sirius hold his face and see him fall apart completely, because it’s sirius and sirius is looking at him like he’s fucking precious and not ridiculous at all.

this would definitely change everything after, like the next time they’re together, remus still instinctively starts to turn his head but catches himself halfway because he remembers how safe it felt, and sirius notices that tiny hesitation and rewards it with the softest “there you are” against his lips. or even better, sirius starts to do it unprompted now, cupping remus’ face every single time like it’s their new ritual, whispering “let me see you, baby” until remus stops fighting it and just lets himself be seen.

eventually remus gets brave enough to keep his eyes open too, and the eye contact during it is so intense it almost feels more vulnerable than the sex itself. sirius secretly loves how remus’ face goes all soft and surprised right at the peak, like he still can’t believe someone wants to look at him like this. sirius is so gone and in love that remus feels powerful and safe at the same time, so afterwards he pulls him down and mumbles “thank you for trusting me with that” into his hair.

1. Just do it. Scream into the void and the void will scream back. Someone else out there is just as weird and obsessed as you.

2. Curate your experience. If you don’t like something, leave it alone. Exit the page. Hit the back button. Block liberally.

It started as just a bit of fun on James and Lily's wedding night.

(Or did it start before that? Did it really start in sixth year when Sirius and Lily dated until death threats and a close call on a Hogsmeade weekend made them break up? Did it start in fifth year when James and Sirius snogged for the first time, because James had finally admitted he was curious? Did it really start in fourth year when James caught Sirius in a broom closet with Frank Longbottom's tongue in his mouth, and Alice Mayweather's hands in his trousers, making James question everything he knew about how people were "supposed to" fit together?)

It was supposed to just be a bit of fun with a trusted friend. Their "joint custody best friend", as Lily liked to joke. It's just that they had so much fun they decided to keep going. To keep inviting Sirius over for dinner, asking him to stay over and pretend that the guest room was even a consideration.

It was just fun. A lot of fun, between consenting adults, in the privacy of their own home. It wasn't anyone else's business, so there was no need to discuss it.

And then Lily came down with a stomach bug. Only it was less a stomach bug and more of a morning sickness situation. A couple of quick diagnostic charms showed that Lily was a few weeks along.

With twin boys.

Unfortunately, there was no spell that could determine paternity prior to them being born.

"I mean, if they're Prongs' kids that'll probably be pretty obvious," Sirius muttered looking at the copy of the scan Lily had gone for at a muggle hospital.

"How do you mean?" James asked frowning at him.

"With how pale Sirius and I are, if they're his the babies might just come out translucent," Lily quipped, not looking up from the pregnancy pamphlets she was flipping through.

James snorted and dissolved in to giggles for a while after that.

---

They eventually settled on an agreement: when the babies were born they'd determine the paternity, and whoever was not the father would then become the godfather.

With that settled, Lily spent the rest of her pregnancy being waited on hand and foot by her boys. It didn't matter what she needed, whether it was a cup of tea, a strange midnight craving, or someone to go down on her, all she had to do was hint she wanted something and one or both of them would hop to it. Lily felt the service was almost worth the mood swings, heartburn, and getting kicked from the inside.

So, when she went in to labor late in July, she had both her boys on hand in the delivery room. They had considered going to St. Mungo's, but the hospital was not safe at that point in the war, so they chose a muggle hospital that Mary MacDonald's parents worked at. And after many hours of pacing, contractions, and other unpleasantness, the first of their twins was born.

"It's a Potter!" James said from where he was at the end of the bed, having caught the baby.

"Congratulations, James! You're a father!" Sirius said, smiling widely from his spot at Lily's side where she'd been crushing his hands.

"Looks like you're a godfather," Lily joked before wincing as another contraction hit.

A few short minutes later, Sirius was holding the first baby, marvelling at the squished face and the wildest hair a newborn could possibly have, so that James could focus on catching the next one. He knew the job was done when Lily collapsed back against the bed, but James was oddly silent for a moment. Sirius looked over, worry frissoning through him at the strange look on James' face. He was about to ask if everything was alright when James looked up, appearing a touch confused.

"So, er... I think this one might be a Black?"

---

"Heteropaternal superfecundation."

"That's a terrible name for a child, Sirius."

Sirius looked up from the medical text to glare at Lily. Only he couldn't hold the expression when he saw her cradling one of the twins while James was changing the other.

"You dam-- darn well know I wasn't suggesting it as a name, Lils. That's the term for when someone has a multiple pregnancy with more than one father in the mix."

"Well, I'm glad there's a muggle name for it so we don't have to obliviate the hospital staff. In the meantime, do we have names for both of our children?" Lily asked.

"I-- Yes, I know what I would like to call him. I just want to be sure that you're both okay with it."

"Well, we're not exactly about to put him back where we found him," James joked, rejoining them with a freshly diapered baby swaddled in blankets.

"I would highly object to that," Lily said, wide eyed as her imagination took her on a terrible mental adventure. She shook her head to dismiss the image and refocused on the present. "Look, the only thing that's changed is that now you're both fathers and godfathers. And quite frankly you two were probably going to get those wires crossed anyways, so I'm fine with it working out this way. Now, these babies need names. James, what are we calling your son?"

"Harry," James said proudly, looking down at the baby Lily was cradling. "He's Harry James Potter."

"Hello Harry," Lily said, pressing a soft kiss to her baby's forehead.

James walked around the bed and offered the bundle in his arms to Sirius, who held his son just as reverently as he'd held his godson.

"Who's this little fellow, then?" James asked Sirius.

"Alphie," Sirius whispered, clearing his throat after a moment. "Alphard Evans Black."

"Evans?" Lily looked at Sirius in surprise, green eyes shining.

"You and your father were close, and you told me once that you wished you could keep the name going since he had two daughters. I know you hyphenated when you married James, but I thought-- If you don't like it I can--"

"No, I love it, shut up." Lily said, sniffling.

"The different surnames isn't going to bother anyone?" Sirius asked, looking between his best friends, the two people he loved most in the world.

"Honestly, I think the different birthdays will be a bigger trip up," James said, sitting next to Lily on the bed.

"Different birthdays?" Sirius asked, looking at Lily who seemed equally confused.

22) Your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Sirius’s comment to Harry that one of the things he admired about Moody was his refusal to use lethal force unless it was absolutely necessary, and how it sits in striking contrast to Remus telling Harry that the time for disarming has passed, in war you need to be prepared to go for the kill.

Like you, I've always been struck by how Remus has a different take and calls Harry out for not using lethal force in Deathly Hallows. love the idea of examining this through the wizarding social hierarchy and their different experience of the First Wizarding War, and it isn't something I've given enough thought to. However, I have given thought to why Sirius and Remus have different views, separately from your points.

I think, in addition to what you highlighted, one of the reasons why Sirius has such admiration for Moody and James and their stand on lethal force and dark magic comes from the fact that he grew up in a world where he was forced to reckon quite early with the fact that:

“(...)the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters,” said Sirius with a wry smile.

I don't think it's by chance that we learn this from Sirius. He will have been surrounded by people who were attracted to dark magic but did not believe in what Voldemort fought for; people who believed in what Voldemort fought for, but thought he went too far; people who believed in Voldemort, but did not want to join out of fear; and people who would join Voldemort either because they believed in him or because they were scared of what he would do if they didn't join.

Some of these people would, on the side, possess good qualities that I'm sure Sirius will have witnessed, whether that is caring for a relative or some other show of what we would consider goodness. Furthermore, these people would believe that they were right, that they had the truth on their side. He would have been forced to listen to people talk about muggles and muggle-borns with disdain, but also with the conviction that they were doing something good in getting rid of them. All of this would necessarily strip him of the belief that humans are good judges of whether they themselves are on the right side of history.

Marauders part two! 1981, baby, new kid in townn

insp.

Test subject