and it being unbearably awkward and frustrating because you literally cannot convince anyone you don't. if you try to say "i do NOT want to fuck them" (intense) you're protesting too much and obviously want to fuck them, and if you try saying "oh, i don't want to fuck them actually" (nonchalant) you sound like you're lying because trying to act casual about something you feel strongly about comes across attempted deception. and if you don't dispute it then clearly they're right and you are fucking them! so really you can't argue. there is no escape.

like i see a lot of fics where bucky is like "natasha is terrifying.....we must do whatever it takes to not get on her bad side! the russian spiderling is so scary!". there are a lot of fics where steve will like, 'visibly shudder' at the idea of pissing off natasha. whatever we do, don't make her mad! but neither of those things make any sense for their individual characters. steve loves pissing people off, especially people in higher authority to him. he's constantly arguing with nick fury + phillips, who are both literally his boss. and with bucky and natasha, even if you don't subscribe to my belief that bucky is Kinda Sexist (unexamined), we know bucky canonically shot through natasha to get a target when he was the winter soldier and he didn't care if she lived or died. they repeatedly fight in the movie and she is almost always running for her life from him and he is barely acknowledging her bc she is not his target.

and it takes away from what is actually there that is interesting about these characters and their established dynamics to ignore it.

The winter soldier is not scared of natasha: natasha is scared of the winter soldier, which is much more interesting. it's what allows us to see through natasha's professional mask of Femme Fatale, for her performance of constantly being one step ahead to break. this is what natasha looks like when she's scared, when she's outclassed, when she's fighting the fight anyways because it's the right thing to do. we saw a glimpse of this in the avengers movie when she's dealing with the hulk, but now we get see that when she has no backup and when there's no option to try and manipulate the threat because outside of steve there is nothing that can get through to the winter soldier. AND he's somewhat of a nightmarish reflection of the fate she escaped, the life she once lived, this is what the red room wanted to turn her into. and steve's relationship with natasha is not interesting bc hes intrinsically scared of her girlboss badbitch energy but specifically because he sees past the performance of it, recognizes her weak soft human side, and still constantly defers to her expertise because he trusts and respects her judgement. he's not scared of her: they're friends. that's what makes the relationship special.