Someone linked me this beautiful poster, and I'm just really impressed.
My contribution:
Someone linked me this
beautiful poster, and I’m
just really impressed.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Cosimo Galluzzi

gracie abrams
🪼

Origami Around
macklin celebrini has autism
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

izzy's playlists!
$LAYYYTER

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
YOU ARE THE REASON

★

pixel skylines
Today's Document
icyghini twinkie
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Discoholic 🪩
The Stonewall Inn
Misplaced Lens Cap
KIROKAZE
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seen from Venezuela

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seen from United States
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@yoursupervisor
Someone linked me this beautiful poster, and I'm just really impressed.
My contribution:
Someone linked me this
beautiful poster, and I’m
just really impressed.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
There’s a gimmick blog right behind me with a gun to my head
This post does not contain typos!
Of course, it is still incorrect, so how about I fix the error!
"There's a gimmick blog right behind me…"
Should be:
"There are gimmick blogs right behind me…"
Calling all gimmick blogs
whuhjh
Today isn't Monday tho...
Joy and whimsy… questionable? This post may or may not be joyful and whimsical.
Good work team, you're doing your jobs well. Keep it up and we may earn that department wide pizza party!!
There’s a gimmick blog right behind me with a gun to my head
This post does not contain typos!
Of course, it is still incorrect, so how about I fix the error!
"There's a gimmick blog right behind me…"
Should be:
"There are gimmick blogs right behind me…"
There’s a gimmick blog right behind OP with a gun to OP's head
Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-
Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me
My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten
World Heritage Post

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i support universal free healthcare for one simple reason: if you are diagnosed with a terminal illness you should quit your job. quitting your job is the correct response to terminal illness. but you can’t do that if your healthcare is tied to your job
listen if somebody knows that they will be dead in a years time, and you are forcing them to continue to come into work, that’s fucked up. terminally ill people should be able to quit their jobs and live their last few months to the fullest. i don’t get how that’s a controversial opinion
Get peer reviewed:
This is not just serious illness.
It’s any illness.
No one should be forced to work if they have the flu, or even a cold.
No one should be forced
to work if they have the flu,
or even a cold.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
HR would like to remind you
Conversations appropriate for work:
Would you rather be a one-trick pony or a two-trick bug?
Conversation's not appropriate for work:
I don't believe in the Geneva convention and I think that the Japanese American concentration camps were fully justified.
I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for tumblr. My wife has left me. My children do not recognize my face. I have faced demonic attack, public execution, and erotic ego death, which is like normal ego death but you develop kinks that make Society despise you, like a psychosexual fixation on Kermit the Frog. "I like your shoelaces." THANKS, THEY TETHER ME TO THE GROUND I STAND ON! I AM UNABLE TO LEAVE! I WILL DIE HERE! I WILL DIE IN THIS HOUSE!
IMPERSONATE ME IN MY INBOX I WANNA SEE WHAT YOU GUYS RETAIN FROM ALL MY SHITTY POSTS
PLEASE I BEG OF YOU DO THIS IT’LL BE SO FUNNY
PLEASE
I’M SHIT AT THIS, SO I DON’T THINK I CAN
BUT YK, ALL OF YALL R MUCH MUCH BETTER THAN I AM
Two job-hunting resources that changed my life:
This cover letter post on askamanger.com. A job interview guide written by Alison Green, who runs askamanager.
useful
Alison Green’s advice works.
Alison Green got me all my interviews from 2012 onward, I am reasonably sure.
Alison Green is basically my life guide.
Mine too - she was my most visited website for the first few years of my working career, and I cannot emphasise enough how much her advice helped me navigate how to behave in a work environment. You name it, she has an answer for it. Definitely a life hack.
i have a suggestion

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
where is that post that’s like “*HR guy who’s made of hands skittering in* no touching”
I've made it my mission to be known by everyone on Tumblr. And I mean EVERYONE. No account will go without this post, I want to make it to the dead poets society fandom all the way to the ninjago fandom. Everyone will reblog this, and if they don't I will die a failure.
Batman fandom is here for you, Satan.
Corporate gag blogs are here for you
“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?
A question for the ages.
The earlier on Tuesday you reblog this the funnier it is. (5:28am)
Have you seen the new movie? It's on library. It's literally on the library. It's on library without ads. It's literally on your local public library. You can probably ask for it on your library. Dude it's on your library. It's in the original case too. It's on library. You can watch it at the library. You can go to your local library and watch it. Register onto your local library right now. Go to your library. Dive into your library. You can watch it. It's on there. Your library has it for you. Your library has it for you.
Have you seen your post? You can see it at library. It's at library. It's on the library staff cabinet. It got printed out on paper and put up on Library.
oh my GOSH wow... I'm on Library...

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
”am i a gooner”? no. but they are. ohhh boooyyys *i start snapping my fingers and my goons come out of the shadows*
hey boys werent there more of you. what happened to one of you
HEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOIS
ok well now there are too many of you. which one of youse is the rat
certified gimmick post
the fuck did youse call me.. boys… get em
uh oh I gotta get outta here
are you in need of a weapon with which to defend yourself
yes now we're getting somewhere
I'm containing all of you
not on my watch! BONK
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MY MAFIA WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE(?)
Hey guys, how's it going
I'm afraid this is too many goons we are going to have to let some of you go, lest you be forgiven because we can't afford for you to have a clear conscience.
It would ruin morale.
And If you are going to be Christians you will need training in tactical baptisms.
are wes kiddin? youse aint the boss here. supervisor yer fired. no one “lets go” o any o da goons witout goin thru me
Hey you hired me, but fine if you think you can handle all of the new hires and hr complaints be my guest
”am i a gooner”? no. but they are. ohhh boooyyys *i start snapping my fingers and my goons come out of the shadows*
hey boys werent there more of you. what happened to one of you
HEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOISHEREBOIS
ok well now there are too many of you. which one of youse is the rat
certified gimmick post
the fuck did youse call me.. boys… get em
uh oh I gotta get outta here
are you in need of a weapon with which to defend yourself
yes now we're getting somewhere
I'm containing all of you
not on my watch! BONK
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MY MAFIA WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE(?)
Hey guys, how's it going
I'm afraid this is too many goons we are going to have to let some of you go, lest you be forgiven because we can't afford for you to have a clear conscience.
It would ruin morale.
And If you are going to be Christians you will need training in tactical baptisms.