Professional Crash Dummy

we got the auteur cookie cake baker for my siblings birthday im afraid

it wasnt supposed to say baby. why did they add that?

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military

So heroic posters showing trashmen battling allegorical monsters? I'm down.

Yeah but that's just the beginning. I also want Sanitation Worker Discounts at every business and blockbuster movie propaganda glorifying sanitation work. I want random people to salute garbage collectors and thank them for their service. I want drivers who get impatient with the recycling truck and honk at it and swerve around it to become social pariahs

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

...ok but what if the shift manager is actually right

you are a minor so i will say this with absolute confidence as an adult: there is not a single time on the history of this planet that a shift manager has ever been right. and more seriously, in this metaphor: treating yourself like shit for not being productive doesn't actually make you more productive. it makes you treat yourself like shit.

imo the state monitoring your private messages is basically on the same level as opening and reading physical mail or perhaps breaking into your house to install bugs and cameras

developers moving all their bug tracking and suggestion management to discord is like if you could only access customer support if you joined a facebook group. we need to start shaming people who use discords as a replacement for an actual proper repository

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

i should be nicer to anons calling me an egg maybe it's their first time seeing someone even slightly gnc

i have to ask actually. what happens when you go in someone's inbox and go "omg you should try being a girl i bet you're actually a closeted girl" and it's a trans man. does that ever happen. what then

[Image ID: Anonymous Tumblr ask reading: I'm a trans guy who dresses goth and slutty and i get "omg estrogen would save her" like at least once a week. And when I complain about it people tell me I'm being transmisogynistic for not wanting people to misgender me and tell me to detransition. so yeah I don't talk about it but it fucking sucks /End ID]

i am actually insufferable once I get comfortable with someone

What a beautiful thing to be someone a friend feels safe to be vulnerable with

how dare you turn my self-deprecating midnight rambles into a hopecore positive post

Get hoped

fundraiser for their legal expenses x

Serious explanation here: she's teaching them the instinct of being alert around enclosure openings! For example, if these were wild cats living in a bush, they'd run the risk of a larger predator running up to the opening and grabbing one of them. The mother cat is also only bapping them lightly without claws, so those slaps are more of an annoyance meant to get the kittens' attention, and to teach them to keep their eyes out for potential threats.

also slapping him is fummny

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