i dabble.

it’s crazy how a double bacon cheeseburger is probably the single healthiest thing a human can eat

This princess forgot about super glue

sorry i am a dumb bitch

was so well-behaved the dentist let me put my fingers in his mouth too

the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”

what

oh my god

well wooden shoe look at that

I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE 

im in the pussy like turmeric in tupperware

*right clicks on you*

*views your properties*

you know what 🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿 just in case

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or even dead. I just simply don't care.

then why say it

I speak as I breathe: passively and without active thought.

clearly

Activating manual-thought mode. Hey go fuck yourself.

happy anniversary 

Oh, hey Charlie, sorry you didn’t make it to the 8 year anniversary