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Christians hate when a gay man goes “fuck it, I’ll gladly go to Hell if you want me to so bad” because it takes the edge away from their tools of fear. If they can’t scare you with threats of eternal damnation then one of their main weapons is taken away.
“You’re supposed to fear your father/parents” this isn’t the first time I’ve seen someone say that someone told them this in the tags. Christianity as an institution is one of the biggest shelters for abusers out there and this shit right here is how they do it.
one of the first things i learned in a fucking summer vacation theater camp for kids was about how to emote on stage. the counselor wrote “LOVE” on the board and asked the class if anyone knew what the opposite of love was. naturally the whole class responds with “HATE”
he said we were all wrong and wrote “FEAR” on the board.
fear does not equal love. fear does not equal respect. fear will never be part of a healthy relationship with anyone or anything and if fear is being used against you in the name of love then thats a huge red flag if ive ever seen one
library genesis is still up (very similar site) and r/freemediaheckyeah and r/piracy have lots of other alternatives. zlib was the GOAT though. fuck tiktok
(originally commented. putting as a reblog as its important)
some sites i use to read online:
- https://libgen.li/
- https://www.pdfdrive.com/
- https://libretexts.org/
- https://openlibrary.org/
- https://novel80.com/
- https://www.allfreenovel.com/
- https://bookreadfree.com/
- https://allbookshub.com/
- http://thefreeonlinenovel.com/
- https://www.epub.pub/
- https://www.readingsanctuary.com/
- https://yes-pdf.com/
- https://www.booksfree.org/
if none of the links work if you just search up "(book title) read online free" there's almost always gonna be a pdf link and those are always good to read from too
This is even more important with the internet archive losing the lawsuit and being forced to remove so many books. Consider donating to the Internet Archive.
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Me in the shower thinking about my wife: i think one of the big reasons why het culture "wifey/hubby" "his/hers" "tiaras/mustaches" matching sets other than the cis binarism of it all is that it reveals the thought process behind heteropatriarchy wherein ideal love is a product of inversion; two puzzle pieces that fit together but are separate and made functional solely by the utility of their differences. Heteropatriarchal love retroactively redefines a person as a half of a whole, their functions and idiosyncrasies only valuable when curtailed by another's. But more than that, heteropatriarchal love is so divided. My "hers" towel and your "his." Married on a friday because saturdays are for the boys. Your woodsmoke-scented deodorant and my lavender. We cant possibly hope to understand each other and that's what lends our partnership value, somehow. But the love i cherish--the love that nurtures me--is inextricability. Not the teeth of your personality spinning the cogs of mine but the blend and blur of our edges together. The further in the tide rolls the better. The love that nurtures me is accepting everything about you into my life even if i dont feel the same way about it that you do. Its a becoming. Becoming you, becoming myself, becoming us, again and again. There are no puzzle pieces to snap together, and im no more or less of anything with or without you. But no matter what happens i carry you with me now. Even in the small ways like how we wear each others jackets and deodorant and hats. I wear your mannerisms, and your jokes. I have your interests. You have my music taste. We subsume and consume one another. We explore each other by exploring ourselves and vice versa. The process of loving you is a mapping of a vast expanse and it is the creation itself of that expanse, ad infinitum. Loving you is a fluidity of the self. I try out new ways of living through you. I see through your eyes. My life doubles by virture of sharing it with you. We finish each others sentences and joke that were the same person but its truer than we have the language to describe. My selfhood blurs into yours; Im not half of a whole, but together we are a whole. You could draw a straight line from one end of me to the other end of you, no breaks. And why shouldnt we travel that line? Step inside my head and get comfy. Mi casa es su casa. Youre me and im you.
What comes out of my mouth when she walks into the room: id let you wear my skin if i could
The older i get the more i understand why some people become obsessed with privacy, not because they’re hiding something, but because being constantly perceived starts to feel spiritually exhausting.
Did you know that soda machines at restaurants and movie theaters spy on you? That most common new cars now record your sexual preferences and send it to the manufacturer (and also data about anyone who also gets in your car, walks by your car, and maybe happens to be within visual range of your car)? That grocery stores are trying to force customers to download an app to scan barcodes on shelves instead of putting up prices, so the app can scan the phone, decide how much that customer should be squeezed for, and adjust the price? That more and more innocent people are being sent to jail for crimes committed hundreds of miles away because an AI facial recognition algorithm spit their faces out and the cops didn't bother to do the most basic of checks?
I am not uptight about privacy because I'm hiding something. I'm uptight about it because the people who dismiss my right to privacy are dangerous to you and me and our families, personally, all the time.
Without fail, every time a woman is talking about how she does not want to have children and never wants to be pregnant and how medical professionals, romantic interests and family members keep trying to bulldoze her decision and keep expecting her to change her mind because motherhood is something that is expected of all women and it is abhorrent to think a woman could not desire it, a random mother spawns in the comments to be like “Well, actually, you never know! I didn’t want children and then I got pregnant and I realized I love being a mama and I have five little babies now! Could happen to you! 🥰”
Sister, keep that to yourself or make your own goddamn post, you are ignoring that woman’s central concern and belittling her, you don’t even think you’re doing it. Formerly childfree women who ended up having children and loving it are like detransitioners in the sense that there is nothing inherently wrong with changing your mind about having children or realizing you were mistaken about your gender identity but immediately weaponizing your indecision to tell people that the barriers to healthcare and the violations of their bodily autonomy and the way society ignores that person’s wishes is actually okay because you were wrong. Some people do know themselves.
it also makes me doubt how happy they actually are with having the kids why do you feel the need to broadcast you've changed your mind and are happy now just be happy no need to be a missionary for making more babies those are not yours chill
dear people with OCD: the next time you have spiraling & intrusive thoughts, what-ifs, or catastrophizing scenarios, I am sending a cardigan-wearing 46-year old NYU professor directly into your brain and he says "Aaaaand scene!!!" and he claps his hands slowly. and he says "Wow. Wow. Powerful stuff. Evocative imagery. A little bit post-modern, a little bit hysterical realism in the vein of Don Delilo but let's pause right here." and you will recognize your thoughts as a perplexing avant-garde film shown to an audience of 15 liberal arts students who are now trying to get a good grade and sleep with their professor.
I almost posted this without the professor-fucking part but I decided that it is in fact crucial to combating OCD. sometimes you have to fight fire with fire i.e. spiraling thoughts with strong negative emotions get countered with strongly emotive surprise, cringe, and humor
sometimes the OCD brain can't just be stopped from fantasizing completely, but you can redirect that anxious mental energy toward crafting a fictional setup and story that doesn't involve you or your fears at all
another thing I do is interrupt intrusive thoughts with a very conscious and deliberate "and then an elephant walks in." and I'd make myself commit to the bit. it would force me to reframe everything and specifically understand it in an absurdist context, make me confront how ridiculous the initial thoughts even were, and there is honestly no way to keep being serious and distraught about your what-if scenarios when you've introduced a fucking elephant into the mix. film studies professor is also that elephant.
so it goes from scary thoughts about my life -> step back. this is a weird fictional film now. -> characters are analyzing the film -> those characters are super messy and have their own problems, and I'm watching them now and eating popcorn at this soap opera
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throughout history, the wealthy and powerful tend to create a set of rules for themselves to follow- european gentry, for example, developed specific rules for speech, dress, eating, manners, etc etc. and to some extent these rules did restrain them, but at the same time, it gave them power- by following these rules, you show your status as someone with power, both to other powerful people, and to those of lower class. certainly there were nobles who chafed under these rules, but the vast majority of them, consciously or subconsciously, accept them as the price for power, even enjoyed performing them as a status symbol. it would be ridiculous to say that the nobility was oppressed by feudialism- they wielded incredible power and freedom to use that power to hurt others, even if they had to play by a handful of rules to do so.
I think it’s interesting that the LGBTQ community at large doesn’t really seem to acknowledge that sexual shame is one of the most common and profoundly felt emotions in the community still to this day. I think people confuse an ability to bite back at bigots or knowing on paper that their identity, body, etc is “valid” with true self-acceptance…yet I know huge numbers of people who have serious trouble fucking because they think of themselves as deeply abject and it’s weirdly normalized, or framed as a personal hangup instead of something that can be brought out into the open. No amount of claiming infinitesimal victories over people who get out slightly less than you can really confront shame at its core. I really think it should be something we raise more consciousness about and (ironically) shame people for less.
With all the love in the world, this is actually exactly what I’m talking about. I think we are too focused on winning little internet battles with people who are clearly not self actualized. What does “prudish tenderqueer” really say? How is that different than a person who’s imprisoned by sexual shame? The older I get the more I realize that being annoying online is way less of a crime than people act like it is. Not only that, this harsh differentiation between “prudish” and “sexually liberated” leaves no room for people to own their own very real feelings of shame or fear of intimacy, often because they’re afraid of being seen as prudish or unhip or repressed. Internalized self loathing used to be an understood part of the process of coming out; now through statements like this, that phase constitutes a part of the community who take their own repression as a “position.” I know we’re not responsible for babysitting people but at the same time, what is the LGBTQ community for if NOT confronting these issues in a way that’s accepting and open? I know lots of people who are ashamed of how repressed they are and don’t talk about it because they don’t want to seem like a sexless incel tenderqueer or whatever and while that might mean they post better it definitely does not result in a more liberated happy person who has the support to explore their sexuality and experience intimacy.
it's such bs that the whole guilt-ridden stoic self-sacrificing martyr thing doesn't work outside of fiction. repressing all your emotions and neglecting your physical wellbeing should make you god's most tragically beautiful morally unassailable little soldier of righteousness but all it does is give you bad skin and gastrointestinal problems
"I'm just a girl☺️🥰💖💞💅🌺🌷🦄" when you were eight and the teacher said she needed some strong boys to carry something you used to be furious, and when you convinced them to let you help, you carried twice as many chairs as the boys with the righteous anger of a girl who knew she was just as capable as them. Where did that go?
image description: screenshot of a tweet by benny feldman ( @/fedfrog ) which reads: it's just a joke dude. and the joke is just rooted in ideas. that i'm just reinforcing /end image description
By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.
Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.
This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):
Executive functioning skills range from working memory to cognitive flexibility to inhibitory control, and beyond. They power our daily func
Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):
Practical Strategies for Enhancing Executive Functioning Difficulties in Adults With Autism - Living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) as
Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.
But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:
Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.
Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation
Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.
Meditation
Martial arts
Sports in general
Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)
Woodworking
Cooking
If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers
Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.
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"children need more safe space online" children have always had more than enough safe space online. what you're seeing is children deliberately coming into online space that is meant specifically for adults. and I am not saying they are not welcome by the way, as long as adult space is what they CHOOSE to be in and as long as they keep themselves safe (however, it is not an adult's job or responsibility to look after a random kid or what content they consume on the internet).
but YOU. you see children deliberately choosing to consume adult contents and say "oh no we need more children's space, and in doing so, we must ban and censor adult contents FROM ADULTS' SPACE that children deliberately choose to be in.”
and you know what else I know? you don't actually care about children by demanding more children's space online, you are just hiding behind the "we are protecting children" claim while actively trying to control people what they can or can't create/consume in their own adult space. you are just trying to push for censorship, the fascist tool that you love so much.
For anyone unfamiliar with Paulo Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed, the entire thesis is that traditional educational models promote oppression by removing students' agency in their own learning. Freire argues that currently education functions as a "banking model" - teachers are the holders of knowledge, and students are empty vessels, waiting to have that knowledge put into their heads like a piggy bank. This reinforces a passive attitude towards information, not seeking and understanding it on your own terms, but waiting for a "banker" to deposit it into your head.
Instead, Freire proposes that teachers and students act as co-creators of knowledge, where students become active participants in their own learning through questions and dialogue. Teachers are also open to changing their understanding of topics in the process of critical dialogue - the goal is not "student learns Fact A and memorizes it as presented," but instead the goal is the knowledge itself, discovered collaboratively by teacher and student, who are acting with empathy and respect towards each other. This also starts the process of the oppressed being able and empowered to question structures of power, take agency, and actively participate in the transformation of society.
So, the irony of writing an AI essay on critical pedagogy is actually insane; because it's essentially the extrapolated endpoint of Freire's arguments that our current educational system creates passive receptacles who not only can't think critically in an educational context, but also become the perfect citizens for a world that doesn't want us questioning structures of power, to view those in power as we viewed our teachers - deliverers of indisputable facts that must be memorized and regurgitated because they command it, and not co-creators of true understanding.
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