u g h

unfortunately i do think i am in fact doomed forever but at least there’s movies and music and idk probably some other things too

the secret truth is that men and women are literally exactly the same

Ross had changed its slogan from "Ross, dress for less" to "Ross, die for nothing".

the guy from friends?

Love seeing little pawprints. So fucking magical. There was a little guy here.

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

ooo…. lady gagita

the person who realised you could rearrange the letters in gossip girl to read “go piss girl” truly one of the great minds of our generation, madam your legacy

still baffled that they got sarah brightman for Repo! btw. she had one full song and outshone every single other person there. she came she served cunt she died

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

cant believe i have to pick another person to outlive already

Comrade Data's friendly advice for the betterment of mankind

There’s an emotion only unlocked when you live in a house with multiple stories. I call it “the stair emotion” and it’s when you realize the object you need is on the other side of yet another trip up and down those goddamn stairs. It’s the closest I get to transcending the desire for material goods. Maybe I don’t need that notebook. Maybe I don’t need anything.

fairly reliably when someone is mean and weird to you on Tumblr, you can look on their blog and all their recent posts will be about how unhappy they are in their interpersonal relationships and/or how frustrated they are that their creative venture hasn't found success. and it's like ohhhhh okay, I get it. you're clawing at other people because you're actively drowning. my sympathies, that sucks, but I'm not a lifeguard so carry on.

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.