sand and slate

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

that's MS. substance abuser to you

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

when i was born they rushed all the nurses into the room. called the whole hospital. Here’s the baby that doesn’t cry they said

we love to applaud performative masculinity

I was a stoic

we'll jump off that bridge when we get to it

momentarily had the thought “shout out to my platonic harem” and then remembered that’s called friends

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

did you know avoidance only makes all of your problems worse. no one has ever discovered this before

the fetishization of the glorification of romanticism of generalized of sexualization of the normalised of the glamorization of the idealized of the

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

theyre going to shoot me out back tomorrow and i will enjoy it

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

reblog it