ConstantlyTiredPigeon @constantlytiredpigeon - Tumblr Blog

10 signs you’re in a healthy relationship

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chongoblog

Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

yesterdaysprint

Evansville Press, Indiana, February 5, 1912

anemonequeen-moved

it’s a leap yeap

morganoperandi

My nightmare: making a typo that people are still talking about over a century later

40ouncesandamule

Happy leap yeap!

enki2

regionalatbest

i think that the “i do not control the ____” memes are generally tame and do not lend enough credence to the genuine absurdity of the original line that is

mini-golf-champion

I saw this and remembered that I had this thread saved in a folder and figured this would be a good time to bring it out

matriarchyuzi-deactivated202508

READ THE WHOLE THING. I cannot garuntee that you will be pleased, but I can guarantee that it is one HELL of a rollercoaster.

lurker-at-thresholds

I knew this in general but not in this much detail, fascinating. It’s an affront to all that is good and moral, though, that this thread includes no mention of the lobster cult

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lingi-15

kk1smet

Babe

There's something tragic about you

Something so magic about you

Don't you agree?

Lately, all I have are wips that intimidate me, so I tried to do a very quick study to get out from the claws—ended up liking this quite a bit so I thought I’d share it. Happy Friday, everyone!

sailermoon

babe are u okay ur crying about closeness lines over time by olivia de recat again

robichuwu

yeahiwasintheshit

NEW HOMOPHOBIC DOG DROPPED!

real-doozy-deactivated20250514

eyes are literally burning with homophobia

perfect-puppy

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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hypewinter

You know a job parents everywhere are always in need of? Babysitters. You know who did pretty good (ish) job on his parenting assignment, can be anywhere in the country in a matter of minutes, and is desperately wanting the new Doomed game? Daniel Fenton. You know who starts using this most excellent service the most? Superhero parents.

ins0mniax-0nline

Danny: of course Mister Batman Sir, I an stop him from sneaking out and patrolling for you.

Batman: hmmn. Robin: Father, I do not need a babysitter. I can join you on this mission. Batman: mmm. Danny: I don't know what that grunt means but my prices are 8 dollars an hour and an additional 10 dollars per escape attempt and if he attempts to harm me- Robin: Tt. I would not attempt, I would succeed. Danny: ahem. If he attempts to harm me then I'll add another 3 to 15 dollars based on the severity of the attack. Batman: What would constitute the 15 dollars?

Danny: Trying to skin me and mount me on a wall, trying to dissect me or trying to rip me apart molecule from molecule. Batman: It is worrying that you would only charge 15 dollars.

alexsays-no

Movie nights 🌙

Both of them with long hair..... yes

Study I did from se_5eeeee on Twitter

witcher-trash

Hello everyone! A friend of mine is working on her thesis about if and how Fanfiction can be used in foreign language learning. If you write or read fic in a language other than your mother tongue it would be great if you could fill out her survey here. Thank you!

https://forms.gle/WeGxnehPqqGAJmfP8

Hello dear participants. My name is Tina Abbott. . Thank you for your invaluable contribution to my dissertation. This should only take 10 m

fallingtowers

"aw i love your earrings, they're so cute!" i say, making the barista's day. i sit down with my coffee and send a respected mutual an anon ask reading "you look like you've got that homestuck kinnie pussy." thus i have maintained the balance of suffering in the world for another day. as i wander down the beach of life, my footsteps do not even disturb its grains

cafffine

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming