A full moon...could be quite a night!

Luigi probably fucks though.

me immediately after hanging out with someone: was i Weird and Cringe. do i need to be imprisoned

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

sweatpants and tanktop is the lingerie of the proletariat

oh well i guess ill just be fat and hot

so done with tumblr. see u all in two minutes

starting my transition from prey to predator. Run

the rumors are true: i dont feel very good

10 000 dollars a day to every autistic child who grew up into an adult with a weird relationship to eating because parents can in no way be trusted to respect children's issues with food

Leopard print is a neutral

little miss echolalia would like to repeat what u just said

little miss auditory processing disorder would like you to repeat what you just said

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”