Some Blog Or Something

Literally heard a convo at the library where a guy was telling a girl that he’s an omega and the girl telling him that she’s a beta, and my mind just did not automatically connect the context to fraternity pledge classes at all and I just whispered to myself “what the fuck?? What the fuck??”

*blows kiss up to the sky (for the aliens)*

*blows kiss to iPhone screen (for the dumb person who posted this)*

sorry you didnt like this hannah bieber hercules, shoot me an email and we can discuss what content you’d rather see in the future. 

My funniest ventriloquism story starts with the fact that I was obsessed with ventriloquism from a young age. I used to obsessively practice speaking without moving my lips, practicing the different tongue and air tricks and everything. Then I got sick with Bell’s Palsy, and it hit both sides of my face at the same time. Bell’s Palsy is like a headcold that hits your facial nerves. Anyway- This meant my entire face was paralyzed. I couldn’t speak using my lips. The doctor stared at me, dumbfounded that I was able to speak very fluently without my face moving at all.

Do you have any idea how long I’ve had this queued? Any idea? A year. A fucking year. I don’t even use my queue ever. Ever. This is the only thing I’ve EVER queued. I’ve had this queued for a year so I don’t forget it.

What the fuck who drinks that

it’s such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him

I actually wouldn’t mind people coming back to tumblr, I think an increase in activity could be fun. I think it would be fucking hilarious if people tried to introduce 2021s influencer culture on here. you would literally get eaten alive

its so homophobic that thunderstorms make me want to stand atop a sheer cliff in robes as i brandish a wizard staff but i cant without getting struck by fucking lightning

lol this guy doesn't know how to ward off lightning. amateur

I feel like these things are extremely important for young artists to see.

who the fuck draws things like gangsta spongebob and godfather bugs bunny. a human being created those pieces of art. why? what compelled them?

lust

u kids really liked this one huh everyone doin ok?

This weirdly reminds me of the time the people installing the new water heater at my house found hundreds of living clams and mushrooms under the floor in our basement.

I'm gonna need you to elaborate and provide images if possible because that sounds both horrifying and fucking magical.