Finding My Authentic

Hoping for a miracle.

Knowing the outcome doesn’t mean it’ll hurt less when you find out.

“I disagree”

anymore.

Because I’ve learned the value of my opinions.

Within me

There exists a thousand secrets

Each a lock with their own key.

They grow heavy

And I try to scatter them,

But there is not one soul

Whom I’ve met or known

Who is able to bear

The weight of them all.

And so

I’m forced to sprinkle them

Like stardust

One, or two,

Not more than three,

To those at the right place

And the right time

For I cannot sustain their weight

No, the keys have grown too heavy

And I cannot keep so many locks

Without being dragged

Reality is my cage

Dreams are my escape

I’m trapped in and out

Like a bird with shredded wings.

When I’m awake,

I long to be asleep

Because what I face is

Ugly, cruel, and bleak.

Yet when I’m cocooned in sleep,

I cross my fingers and my toes and my body

Hoping that when I wake