Dreaming In The Wings

“That one shouldn’t go there.”    You have to muffle a laugh with your hand as the fingers carefully picking at your hair came to a stop. There’s a small sound, just barely audible, soon followed by a soft rustle from the leaves beneath, indicating a shift. You turn your head slightly to see what was going on.     You had to bite your lip to keep yourself from bursting out laughing.    Pernilla was wearing an expression that would have honestly made anyone believe that this was a discussion about something more serious than flowers as her blue eyes met brown, steady and serious.    “Why not? It looks nice.”    Petra met her gaze with the exact same seriousness, the exact same blankness. Not breaking eye contact as her shoulders moved upward in a subtle shrug.     “It does.” She would agree, glancing towards you and frowning when she saw you looking. “Turn back around please.”    “Oh, sorry.” You do as ask, a smile threatening to break out across your face. Not long after feeling fingers gently brush against the spot that Pernilla had been working the flowers into your hair.     “It looks pretty,” You’d hear Petra say, her voice soft, almost mumbled. “But if you put the flower here--”    The finger carefully brushes a little to the left at the back of your head.    “Then we can make a pattern.”     Leaves rustle behind you once more, and out of the corner of your eye, you see strands of blonde brushing over your shoulder as Pernilla leaned forward. Silently analyzing Petra’s suggestion as if it was the most significant thing in the world.    You hear her hum, the strands disappearing from your line of vision. “We can do a zig-zag pattern.”    “Yes.” Petra’s voice picks up a bit, and you smile because you can hear the grin in her voice. “And we can do the sections in different colors.”     As both blondes quietly ramble about color patterns and flower types to one another, you turn around once more to watch them. Pernilla was showing off the whitlow-grass she’d picked, the tip of her little finger tracing the back of one of the white petals. Petra was excitedly pointing at the pink bergfrue’s she’d found, talking about combining the two.    It still amazes you that you’d somehow managed to find similar people, let alone manage to be friends with both of them. But maybe life just worked like that. Threw unexpected things at you and tested how you’d react to them. Apparently, you’d reacted well, because there wasn’t a day you regretted meeting the two blondes.    You’d been friends with Oydis and Jorun since your school days, so you’d been around since Mayhem had first formed. So, you of course ended up meeting Pernilla through them. You’d both been nineteen at the time. At first, you were scared that she already didn’t like you because she’d barely talked to you, but Oydis had assured you that she was just shy around people she didn’t know yet. Looking back, you realize that the Swedish girl being standoffish at first may have been your fault as well. Back then, Pernilla’s behavior had unsettled you. The way she’d seem to just stare off into space while everyone else was talking, how she’d talk about death and how she was dead, when she’d suddenly say something morbid out of nowhere. It’d completely thrown you off, and you’d started to seriously question why the girls had let her into the band in the first place.  

And then you heard her sing for the first time—well, scream rather than sing.    You’d been amazed. You haven’t heard anything like it before. There was something hauntingly beautiful about the way she’d push out each of the lyrics, how she’d growl during certain bits, allowing herself to be completely immersed in the performance. You understood immediately why Oydis had chosen her as the band’s vocalist then and there.     You’d watched the rest of the rehearsal slack jawed, and then when it was over, after working up the confidence, you’d complimented Pernilla. She looked genuinely surprised. But her blue eyes had lit up, and she shyly ducked her head as she mumbled a thank you. You could have sworn that you saw the ends of her lips twitch.    From then on, you’d done better to get to know her and came to just accept that Pernilla was Pernilla. She liked nature, the concept of the afterlife, and was not afraid to go to the extreme in her creative liberties. You’d even gotten into the habit of bringing the deceased animals you’d found on the way to the house to gift them to the blonde because you knew she would love it—something you’d never had imagined yourself doing in a million years. It wasn’t all nice though.    Oydis had warned you about Pernilla harming herself beforehand. So when you finally accidentally walked in on her doing it while you were over at the house one day, you were not surprised. You were severely taken off guard though. You had to stop yourself from yelling, clamping both hands over your mouth. The sound startled Pernilla, and she looked scared at the sight of you, which made you feel worse. Thankfully, Oydis had come running up the stairs the minute she heard the commotion. You had quickly learned how to bandage Pernilla up yourself after that day. You never yelled at her about it, never judged her for it. It was not your place to. Hell, you could name all the questionable things you’d done to make you feel better when you were in pain. You just silently let her know you were there for her and had gotten used to the same song and dance ever since. Nowadays, Pernilla would come to you directly when she hurt herself if you were around. Not all the time. But it was enough to make you feel grateful that she trusted you enough to do so.     You were so used to the strange by then that meeting Petra just felt like something weirdly normal.    You’d saw her when you were walking by the train station, looking lost and out of place. Duffel bag slung over her shoulder, brown eyes warily following the people that pasted by, mouth opening, then closing. Like she was trying to work up the courage to ask someone for help and kept failing. You walked over and asked if she was okay. Petra had startled, not expecting someone to approach her. Hesitating a moment before shyly explaining that she’d just come from Sweden and that she wasn’t sure where to go. You took pity on her and the two of you had ended up at a coffee shop. Petra wasn’t very talkative at first, glancing between you and the Boller you’d gotten her, chewing slowly. You didn’t press her to, both feeling a bit of a mix of protectiveness and on edge because of how much she was already reminding you of Pernilla. Eventually, she would explain that she came here in the hopes of joining or creating a black metal band. It was her dream, she’d quietly confess to you.  

From then on, when you weren’t hanging out with the girls or anyone else in your friend group, you were spending time with Petra. To both make sure that she was settling in alright and because you were intrigued by her. You’d often go on walks through the trails nearby together, Petra softly talking about Sweden and the types of music she liked. Perking up every time she learned that you liked something she liked.    Each passing day, you really wanted to introduce her to your friends, but you held off for a bit because you didn’t want to overwhelm her. You finally had your opportunity when Mayhem hosted one of their house parties once more.    You knew when they’d officially met, they would freak each other out. But it seemed that they had freaked each other out in a good way. You should have known it would happen. Because soon after, the two were sat clumsily on chairs in a quiet corner, wide eyed and rambling about Transylvania and death. You are certain that it was the first time you saw Pernilla open up to someone so quickly.     Oydis was more freaked out than either you or Pernilla were, honestly. Though you suppose that should have been expected as well.  After all, it wasn’t everyday you found someone almost identical to the vocalist of your band. Initially, she seemed amused by herself. Treated it as something to be added to the image the band wanted to present.    “We can say Perri went to the grave and brought a copy of herself back with her!” She’d joked.    Her tune soon changed the night Petra showed up, drenched in rain. Blood is running down her arms.    You’d known. You’d catch sight of the scars on her arms whenever of her sleeves hitched up, when she raised her arms above her head or when she reached for something sometimes. You never tried to talk to her about it because you didn’t know how she’d react.  

🐺🖤You met Ylva at one of Mayhem’s house parties    🐺🖤It’d have been a bit after she accidentally knocked into Oydis, and you find her trying to quickly clean the spilled beer off the floor, hands shaking slightly  

🐺🖤She seemed to snap out of whatever daze she was in when you spoke up and offered a hand, giving you a wary smile and muttering a small thanks 

🐺🖤You'd seen Ylva around before, you'd seen her at a couple parties, but this was the first time you talked to her  

🐺🖤Back then, she would have introduced herself as Kristi, as she hadn't changed her name yet  

🐺🖤Born the only daughter in a family of boys, Ylva always felt like an outlier     🐺🖤It didn’t help that they were always moving around because of her Dad’s job, so Ylva didn’t have a lot of friends as a child   

🐺🖤She still didn't now, and she felt that she should herself for being some weirdo who didn't grow up with any normal family dynamics     🐺🖤These were the main reasons while Ylva was so wary to open up to you initially, already reserved to the fact that you’d eventually leave like everyone else did 

🐺🖤But you didn't, you stayed even when she'd started rambling about J. R. R. Tolkien and his books 

🐺🖤And Ylva finally started to allow herself to consider the idea of actually having someone around instead of being on her own as usual    🐺🖤You were older by a few years, so you felt a bit protective her, especially with how shy she came off at first     🐺🖤Ylva didn’t open up to you immediately, it was slow 

🐺🖤The first time you smoked together, she confessed that she only started doing it to piss off her mother because it was “unlady like” 

🐺🖤That she’d purposefully smoke herself hoarse on bad nights so she wouldn’t be forced to talk     🐺🖤And once you’d actually met her mother... you didn’t blame her one bit, that woman was unsufferable     🐺🖤You’d came very close several times to telling the woman to fuck off, but you never did per Ylva’s request because she knew it would only make things worse  

🐺🖤The second thing she ever confessed to you was that she’d became vegan to get her parents off her back about her weight  

🐺🖤Ylva had always been the bigger kid and felt self-conscious about her body, and it was not helped by her parents always telling her to “eat healthier”     🐺🖤You slowly help introducing her to meat again once she tells you she wants to eat it again   🐺🖤The last thing Ylva would confess to you was that her father is the reason why she has the scar on her chin  

🐺🖤She tells you he hit her with a skate because she “wasn’t learning fast enough” and the blade sliced her chin open    🐺🖤She didn’t realize that she was crying until you hugged her, feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders at being able to tell someone the truth  

🐺🖤The first time you tried to introduce Ylva to the rest of the girls, it didn’t go well 

🐺🖤Oydis, of course, was acting bitchy and Ylva ended up storming off at the end of the night  

🐺🖤You and Oydis got into a screaming match over it where you essentially called her a mean girl who thinks she’s still in highschool     🐺🖤For once, Oydis genuinely felt bad and made an effort to be nicer to Ylva when you brought her around again  

🐺🖤It was awkward, to no ones surprise 

🐺🖤But it ends when both of them realize that they have similar interests     🐺🖤They end up having a big sister/little sister dynamic were they argue over about anything, but would fight anyone that looked at the other wrong 

🐺🖤You pick up on that fact that Ylva has a crush on Occultas PRETTY fast  

🐺🖤It was obvious with how she kept nagging him about silly things, or kept engaging with him despite claiming he was annoying  

🐺🖤They’d very much be that one scene from Who Framed Roger Rabbit 

“Seriously, what do you see in that guy?   “He makes me laugh”    🐺🖤You are the one and most likely ONLY person she’d teach the basslines of any Burzum song to 

🐺🖤When you're not hanging out at Helevete, you two usually hang out in the woods as Ylva loves nature 

  🐺🖤She tells you she liked coming out here because she felt like she could connect to nature more then she could connect to people 

🐺🖤But she tells you that all changed when she met you... and then immediately becomes embarrassed for confessing it  

This fanfic is purely self indulgent and is intended to have two reader inserts. POVs will switch, and some chapters will not feature the readers, but the story is still x reader based. Purple will be used to represent Motley Crue!Reader and Red will be used to represent Mayhem!Reader. This fic also will be focusing on a ship between fem!Vince and fem!Pelle, so if that's not your thing, don't read. Rock Bottom Blues fem!TD Motley Crue x Reader (Motley Crue!Reader POV) Nobody is handling Razzle's death well. Unable to witness Vienna wither away any longer, you warily propose the idea of a trip to the girls in the hopes it would somehow make things better.