shipping a consensual, safe & sane pairing all the while i'm shaking my head in disapproval so the audience knows i still love wildly toxic abusive fictional dynamics
occasionally subtle

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

if i look back, i am lost

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YOU ARE THE REASON

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Today's Document

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@commandersya
shipping a consensual, safe & sane pairing all the while i'm shaking my head in disapproval so the audience knows i still love wildly toxic abusive fictional dynamics

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“The old magic persists thanks to it’s unfathomable power.”
No, the old magic persists because the new magic can’t run the legacy spells I need to do my job, and keeps trying to install spirits I don’t want or need onto my orb.
Look, if the new magic didn't have a personality construct that kept trying to tell me which spells to use, maybe I wouldn't still be using the old magic.
Yes it had a deep blood cost, but at least it was a one time sacrifice and not this monthly bloodletting nonsense new age magic has
The old magic is robust enough to survive a decade of use and it's compatible with every wand, staff, scroll, and charm in our collection.
The new magic stops working after three days and every spell uses proprietary runes.
Our preferences, as an archiving institution, should be pretty clear.
You try to get guidance for the new magic and the king's sorcerers maybe will answer you in a few days with an unhelpful suggestion to buy the newest orb.
You need guidance for the old magic and a dozen retired middle-aged wizards will pop up to explain it to you rune by rune if necessary.
girl is that a knife in your hand or are you jerking off your sharp detachable penis in my stomach
I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want.
Labyrinth (1986) dir. Jim Henson
something about love makes you look at things differently. the really important part of this is that any love will work. if you love blue you will see it everywhere. if you love soft things you will note the cat and the thread count and the moss. you will find your best friend in ugly greeting cards and haunted dolls and terrible fanfics and since they remind you of her they will be beautiful.
so you will love the world differently for having loved someone else. you will love a certain cereal or pokemon because of your brother. you will hear your favorite band's song playing in a random store and the love of it will make the whole world a little more golden. you will read a poem so many times the words become their own creatures. you will find you cannot listen to certain music without thinking of your favorite show.
this velveteen rabbit transformation occurs. the love does not stop, it echoes.

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"I'm lying to you but this sentence is technically the truth without context" is such a good trope. Like yes the way that I am spinning these words forms a lie but if you squint I'm actually not lying.
friends, if I can give you one piece of advice for those of you who are new to work, or are about to enter the workforce, especially if you have any sort of office job:
Do not work on your days off.
"But--"
DO NOT WORK ON YOUR DAYS OFF.
Do not work on your breaks
Do not “answer a few emails” on your vacation
Do not work off the clock
Doing this doesn’t reward you with more money or whatever. It rewards you with more work.
Additionally: TAKE YOUR BREAKS P L E A S E
btw if youre young and scared of doing adult things without your parents ive learned that like 90% of the time you can just tell the doctors office or the dmv "haha sorry ive never done this without help before... can you show me how to do this?" the employee will not care. if that means anything to you
Fun fact: if you, as an adult, tell miserable children that their youth is the best that life will ever be, and that it's all just downhill from there, there's a percentage of them who will hear this and think "well, I guess I better kill myself before that happens." And a certain percentage of those will proceed to do that and succeed.
Anyway what I'm saying is that any time you feel tempted to say that, you should instead consider shutting the fuck up. Just because you peaked at 16 doesn't mean anyone else did. Most peoples' lives get better than that.
I got lunch with my uncle and my neice, who Fifteen(tm) and i was like How Are You?
And she was just like "school sucks, my mom sucks, being fifteen sucks, i just want to grow up"
and so me, a wise and wisened newly fresh thirty year old just replied "yeah it does fucken suck!"
And when i tell you the air physically lightened up and she laughed so hard! And she told me more about why it all sucks and how she feels like no one listened to her, and they tell her to just do it, just get it done, and this girl is tired! She has so much homework and she feels like shes not smart because shes inundated with homework and school and she feels like the people in her life are not hearing her!
Just agree with people when they say something sucks for them! Offer a little sympathy, have some empathy. It does fucking suck being Fifteen.

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By Momoire
There's a version of the future where we stop making comics. Then we open our messages and see someone telling us our comic got them through a rough week – and suddenly that future feels impossible.
You reading this right now, you're part of the reason we're still here. If you'd like to make that reason a little more official (and a lot more sustainable), our Patreon is the place:
Get more from War and Peas on Patreon. creating Comics. Support War and Peas and get exclusive access to their work.
I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually
This is a template scammers can modify, so watch out for variations like "support ICE" and "Trump 2028”.

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A quick update for all my fellow r/196 migrants about how things are going back in the motherland. A saga has unfolded:
It began with a basic hornypost, and a comment under said post:
So, the fatal BreadSlice was getting clowned on in the replies, until:
So yeah, the more things change the more they stay the same I guess.
please tell me a gaggle of monsterfucker muppets heckled op in the street by singing "there goes mr asshole there goes mr bitch"
At 1 PM on a Friday I get an email from my boss. I'm busy as hell so I don't check it immediately. Then I get a phone call from my boss, which has almost never happened before. I'm a white collar worker, a historian. There's never a 'historical emergency' requiring a phone call to kick me in the ass and get to work.
The request is so urgent my boss needs it by the end of the work week. Which, y'know, is 5 PM on a Friday. So I have four hours to do it.
It's a forwarded request. Somebody contacted a member of the donation team asking for help, "I need a map from the Vietnam War to use for a presentation." It's somebody she's trying to coax into giving a five figure donation to the museum.
The request was asked to the donation team member, who then emailed my boss, who then emailed and called me urgently.
This map required:
North and South Vietnam in it
All four areas that South Vietnam was divided into for military purposes ('Corps') clearly delineated
Four cities, all of them horrifically misspelled, and only identifiable because I know what battle the requester is asking about (it’s in III Corps on the border with Cambodia) (the requester danced around the battle but I’m knowledgeable enough to identify it)
Has Laos and Cambodia in it
Has the Ho Chi Minh Trail in it
So. I was mad about the 'you have literally four hours to find a map with a lot of requirements.'
I was then mad at myself about finding a copyright free map from Texas Tech University within half an hour, proving her right for asking me to do it.
Then, after I found a map that perfectly met the requirements, I was equally amazed, baffled, and horrified when I read further into the forwarded email chain.
The donation team team member they were speaking to used AI to generate a map.
The above put half of North Vietnam in South Vietnam, made the Ho Chi Minh Trail a country, made 60% of Cambodia part of South Vietnam, put the DMZ extremely high up in North Vietnam, completely disconnected the southern tip of Vietnam, misplaced all of the Corps zones, etc etc
At the very last second the donation team member had a moment of divine clarity, remembering there's three historians on payroll to ask for this kind of thing from. So she contacted my boss while saying, "I had fun with this, but I decided I should check for accuracy before I send it to the donor! I need a fact check by the end of the day, then I send it"
My boss, while not the most knowledgeable on the Vietnam War, does know her geography. She took one look, and knew it was so off she called me to tell me how urgent it is that I look at the email and respond
good fucking god, jesus tap dancing goddamn christ, I'm glad I was asked to look at it and then find a real map
My fear has never been that AI would replace human intelligence. My fear has been that the people who Know Things and the people who Make The Decisions are almost never the same people.
We’re throwing real intelligence out on the street to starve while worshipping the shambling Frankenstein-ed corpse of knowledge puppeteered by those who see us as disposable assets.