Certified Monsterfucker

creative droughts are so embarrassing yeah sorry man I forgot my shapes and colors

i need to show you guys the absurdly saucy pear my parents just casually had out in the fruit bowl like it was normal

was outside earlier and a bird Came Up, squatted down, fluttered it’s wings at me and opened its mouth like a hatchling begging for food (it was a grown female) so I went and checked the seed cube in the feeder and the thing was completely covered in mold. this is one of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me. how did she know im the one in charge of the birdseed. How Did She Know To Pantomime Hunger At Me. Hello.

i have spent my afternoon confusedly getting dressed, driving to the store, purchasing a new seed block, driving home, washing the cage, and getting the feeder set back up. i don’t take this much care for my Own nutrition. ive been bullied into a grocery store run by a tufted titmouse. i feel so loved

next day at practice hayden is so concerned that he's done something to upset shane because he resolutely refuses to look in his direction all day

The best trope is Character who is Never Angry Gets Angry because you knowwww they got that shit stored up in a little jar that’s waiting to burst.

Lawyer who is like visibly trying not to cry and teary-eyed and snifflign and drawing shaky breaths and hands trembling and constantly wiping his nose on his sleeves but he’s winning the case

Can we please go back to putting summaries on the back of books?? Idc what Susan thought. I want to know what the book is about.