May we yeet again

vaseline is op for fucked up skin but its texture stat is dogshit

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from

the lesbian computer from portal was right. given the circumstances ive been shockingly nice

gambling with angels is easy. they can't lie but they have addictive personalities; it's easy to clean them out then make them divulge secrets about the business of heaven to call your bets. my dad used to say "hey, watch this" and summon angels to play poker with him with a sort of bone flute he inherited from his grandpa, and they'd be holding horseshit and still want to call him. i'm talking "raise on a two pair" level bad at it, but they couldn't stop trying to win. my dad taught me all the secret names of God before i was out of grade school and i would use them to curse my enemies so they came down with leprosy. you can cure leprosy these days but it still sucks, especially for a child. but they had it coming for pissing me off

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

okay time to straighten my legs man I'm so excited

I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder

my two brain cells

This is what executive dysfunction looks like

They Are Stealing My Evil Wizard Clout

i dont care if mondays rife,tuesday qednesday full of strife, thursday fuck my baka life, its friday im in sucks