Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

BURN BAGEL BURN

OH WHY NOT?

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

that caption got better and better with every word

I’m sorry milord, but the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again

and the ship name, squire? what is the ship name

“… Kinglebells, m'lord.”

why is @were--ralph tagged on every werewolf post. How do you get a notorious reputation for being a werewolf fucker on the werewolf fucker website

Oh my god.....you.....you don't know do you?

Ah..... now i remember you

Dumbasses say they want a manic pixie dream girl, but then lose their shit when they're actually weird and it's not all an act. Pussies.

Get a Renaissance woman, bitch about her being interesting.

I want that apartment

Wtf where can I find someone with such amazing taste in decor?

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it