Fizzy

oh he would have loved having a blog

I've found that the best scientific way to get rid of hiccups is to activate your vagus nerve so it relaxes your diaphragm. The way to do that (or just relax your body in general) is with '458'. Gently breathe in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 5 seconds, then slowly breathe out for 8 seconds. Keep repeating that cycle and the hiccups should stop fairly quickly.

If you press/ hold your chest over the heart with one hand, and press your lower abdomen/stomach with the other hand at the same time, you can also activate the vagus nerve.

you can also have someone gently squeeze the back of your neck to reset the diaphragm but it's a bit hit and miss if you don't pinpoint the exact spot

@dduane has a sure-fire science-based hiccup cure that's worked every time I've used it. Scaring? Laughing? Drinking upside down? Holding my breath? None of those has worked 100% of the time. But Ms. Duane's hiccup cure? Every fucking time.

my cure is slowly drinking orange juice while spinning in a circle and it works every time

I’m straight up CRYING

The person who commented “sounds like a bunch of kazoos having a panic attack” made me laugh out loud :D

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

@caine-detector !

the beach that. makes you dead

What is hatred but love gone wrong?

Imagine The Fellowship all sitting around the campfire halfway up Caradhras retelling the events of the Hobbit to Boromir and Aragorn Rashomon-style with Gimli going "my dad tells it this way" and Legolas going "well, my dad tells it this way" and the Hobbits all going "but Bilbo tells it this way!" and, even though Gandalf was fucking there for half of it, he refuses to weigh in on anything because watching them argue is more fun and also he doesn't remember because it was over 75 years ago.

Even better: Gandalf remembers it perfectly fine but he keeps making shit up and agreeing to multiple different versions just to throw everyone off

[id: screencap of tags from tumblr user queenincheck, tag is "#gaslight gatekeep Gandalf" /id]

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

looks up your skirt but I've got an extremely serious look on my face and I'm dutifully writing on a clipboard labeled Neopussy Data and mumbling "hmmm, interesting..."

be ccareful with the neopussy data clipboard they'll kick u off the enterprise for that :(