:o)

sorry if I sound awkward and disoriented and sleep deprived and exhausted. it’s because I am

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

WOAH just saw spiderman eating pizza on a roof

oh shit he ate the whole thing . he just like me frfr

spiderman just left the pizza box on the roof but then came back a minute later and clearly felt bad for littering so now hes swinging through downtown holding an empty pizza box

hes hit a street light

he's swinging away now clearly very embarrassed and he thinks nobody saw it. i saw you spiderman

fuck

patrick is short for Patricide and squidward is short for Squealing Edward and spongebob is short because he has little legs

Me, seeing the first frame of this video: Oh, mama's at the end of her rope. :')

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

Sneebert Deebert

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

you know how if a baby gets hurt and they’re about to cry but you can start laughing or cooing and they won’t cry but laugh or whatever instead? Yea.. don’t do that. It’s been proven that it makes them think pain is “funny” and they will turn into killers -___-

but what about you OP?

Talk about whiplash

Alright, well it’s a movie about a guy wanting to be a jazz drummer and the instructor he has is very cruel and abusive - but although his methods have driven a past student to kill himself, in the end the main guy is able to drum solo really fast so it all works out!