Another Part of The Clown's Brain

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.

Direct byproduct of being neurodivergent and growing up isolated from your peergroup is having no idea when it's appropriate to define someone as your friend

Is this person I met yesterday my friend? What about this person I've been talking to every day for three months? What about this person I've known since middle school? Is friend a title I have to earn? What are the limits of friendship? Is it a static state, make-or-break, or is it some endless dance-dance-revolution style cavalcade of prompts and challenges and social cues I have to hit perfectly to keep it up? Does it bend? Does it break? I don't fucking know man I just work here.

i still remember when the dude doing my autism assessment asked me how many friends I had, and I was like "okay but how are we defining friendship?" and he just like, stared at me for a second and then wrote down some notes

they need to invent the opposite of an nda called an fda where u have to tell everyone everything

subpoena

tumblr

alcohol

war thunder forums

porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]

thank you SO MUCH for reminding me about [feature of patriarchy] and [problem caused by lack of kids' sex ed] random tumblr user in the notes! louder for those in the back!

The adult content warning on this post is really just the icing on the cake

There's a weird 3 star movie out there ready to change your life forever

"Is macready or childs The Thing at the end?" theorists are idiots. The answer is John Carpenter. It's in the poster. John Carpenter's The Thing. Dumbass

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

sometimes i feel like im climing up this incline again alone but thankully sisypus and the itsy bitsy spider and here with me

holy shit is that kate bush

(holding back my aggressive dog by the collar) Lolll sorry he gets like that around noobs

the gramophone has made children into layabouts with no appreciation for real, live music. possibly their hearing will atrophy from lack of practice listening to the sounds of real instruments in the room with them or at least certainly they will be damaged by the gramophone itself

its crackling is very frightening and may cause people to believe there are ghosts in their homes. this has probably already happened and even killed people

tragic: mutual puts a fandom poll on your dash begging you to vote for blorbo bleebus but you know in your heart that the other option, blingus blarbo, is the correct choice. on some judas shit. forgive me brother for you have forced my hand.

when i was born they rushed all the nurses into the room. called the whole hospital. Here’s the baby that doesn’t cry they said

we love to applaud performative masculinity

I was a stoic

Literally the definition of imperialism and classism. Doesn’t matter how many peasants you sacrifice as long as the most powerful piece is left standing

Proximity of bishops to the rulers promotes theocratic oppression

the horse is so fuckable

the horse isn't fuckable enough