Mankind. Be Vigilant. I love you.

Parents are giving their children names no one has ever spoken out loud before

Baby Name Consultant is the type of job title you'd see people claim to have on HGTV while nitpicking 3 different multi-million dollar houses.

what if you told someone you liked their shoelaces while you were on your knees blowing them in a bathroom stall and they told you that they stole them from the president

Statement of Y/N, regarding their time in servitude to the entity formerly known as One Direction. Statement begins.

i see that you media addicted louts have filled your tomodachi life islands with video game and movie characters instead of great leftist thinkers

u people have got to get more normal ab people who don't make sense to u . I mean like people who ramble on and don't know how to have proper conversation . people who are completely incomprehensible . people who talk about delusions and hallucinations . people who can't understand social cues . people with speech impediments or no speech at all . people with vocal tics . not just because it's the decent thing to do but also bc this is most common in the most vulnerable marginalized people . youth , elders , mentally ill , disabled , addicts as well as more generally people with accents & non English speakers .

didn't read template at first so I kept waiting for the other logo. dollip x no one. dollip alone

If I was in a fanfiction and started coughing up flowers while working at a flower shop (because this is a flower shop au) I would NOT connect my crush on the tattoo artist next door to the flower cough situation. I would freak the fuck out and think the pollen at work was doing some Last of Us shit to me, quit my job and move FAR away. inadvertently my flame for the tattoo artist would fade with distance, solving my hanahaki situation and proving my 'the flowers were trying to turn me into a plant zombie' theory

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)