Average Eschatron 9000 Enjoyer

utility pole

Metallic ecstasy. Industrial delirium. Grinding pistons. Shrieking steel. Revolting flesh. Tetsuo: The Iron Man is cinema pushed to the point of combustion... an orgasm of industrial violence and pleasure, a full-on sensory assault, a 67-minute-long migraine.

Shot on 16mm in harsh, high contrast black and white film, Shinya Tsukamoto weaponizes every element of cinema. Frenetic editing, abrasive sound design, and claustrophobic camerawork collide into this cyberpunk cult-classic fever dream of erotic, mechanized sadism. Beneath its barrage of dirty steel and flesh lies a bleak observation: the human body has become industry’s final factory.

Tetsuo is almost painful to watch. Following a hit-and-run, an unnamed man, simply referred to as The Salaryman, undergoes a grotesque metamorphosis. The film opens with a disturbing sequence: a working-class man, known as the Metal Fetishist, slices open his calf to implant a metal rod, only to discover the wound writhing with maggots. Horrified, the man then flees into an open street in a manic frenzy, where The Salaryman and his girlfriend hit him with his car. Rather than stopping, the couple dispose of his body before fucking each other while the dying man watches. Tsukamoto punctuates the sequence with a sign reading “A New World,” announcing the film’s vision of industrial rebirth.

The Metal Fetishist returns like an industrial ghost, haunting the Salaryman through fragmented visions that interrupt the film’s frantic pace. Soon, while shaving, the Salaryman discovers a small metal thorn protruding from his cheek. This marks the beginning of his monstrous transformation. The Salaryman’s body ultimately deteriorates and mutates, giving way to wires, drills (essential to mention his iconic twisting phallus), and sheets of iron bursting through his skin. By the end of the film, he is nothing but a machine.

bubble and squeak

stargazey pie

toad in the hole

spotted dick

neeps and tatties

rumbledethumps

cullen skink

wet nelly

and of course, i would be remiss if i didn’t mention

a picture of stargazey pie, straight off wikipedia: