Certified Wumbologist

oh sick someone paved this whole road with good intentions. i wonder where it leads

i love the point in the hero’s journey where he gets bent over and railed until he cries

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

slamming your knights visor down when you’re finished talking to them, like slamming the phone back on the receiver.

"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now

#STOP SAYING 'PLATONIC' WHEN YOU MEAN 'CASUAL'#RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE PLATONIC AND ABSOLUTELY DERANGED

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr