Files of a Punkass Book Jockey

I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you

I grew up before the term 'thigh gap' was invented I grew up before 'hip dip' was invented I was born before 'muffin top' was a thing before 'clean girl look' was a thing before 'glass skin' was a thing before razoring off peach fuzz was a thing and I'm so so so fucking tired of us inventing new concepts purely for the purpose of convincing people to hate their own bodies enough to buy products

Last time Tuberculosis ran through the USA a small number of people got it on purpose to look skinny and waifish and delicate and used makeup to look flushed and bony and when the Victorians figured out tapeworms people would infect themselves on purpose to starve themselves smaller and women and now in the year of our lord 2026 there is a noticeable fraction of the USAmerican population genuinely thrilled about a treatment-resistant microbial parasite that makes you shit and vomit your brains out for a month because side effects include weight loss and STILL we talk about being skinny like it's the natural default setting for all healthy people as if it's a self-sustaining standard and not an imaginary goal that we are constantly constantly constantly beating ourselves with a whip to acheive

coughs daintily into my tb hankie and pulls it away to reveal splotches of green ooze

More fictional characters should have strange and upsetting changes/transformations to their bodies or loss of control over their magic/powers, that they importantly either don't understand or refuse to acknowledge

I just really like when characters find their own bodies or capabilities to be frustrating and confusing, and doing things against their will/that they don't understand

This could probably make good metaphors/allegories for either puberty or disability depending how to play it. It's also just straight up spectacular whump

This is your regularly scheduled reminder that "Life finds a way" is about the dinosaurs becoming transgender

People love simple, extremely practical things. I hope you win!

sometimes you see Takes™ that make you go "mmmhmmm okay yeah i see we both interpreted that differently based on what the show gave us, but i see how you arrived at your ideas even if they're different from mine," and then sometimes you see Takes™ that make you go "brother what show did you even fucking watch"

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

Fuck AI, if there's any trace of it on your profile, you shall be slain immediately.

btw if all you are doing as a physically disabled person is survive, you're worthy of being here as much as everyone else. even if you can't work, make art, or leave your home. even if you don't see anything beyond your bedroom and phone screen. even if you gain or lose weight, or your appearance otherwise changes because of your disability. even if you aren't awake or aware most of the time. you being here is enough to contribute to the world. i love you

Welcome to my escape room. *places an affectionate cat on your lap*

yesterday? blorbo stuff. today? blorbo stuff. tomorrow? you'll never guess