Ecstasy Of Grief

no offense but you guys need to learn the difference between someone implying their experience is universal and a post simply just not being about you

[This meeting could have been an email voice]: This romcom should have been a horror movie

i hope people know that the “sad tomato cat” meme is a series of images that have a happy ending…… she is cared for and loved!!!!

@crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington MADE THE SAD TOMATO CAT????

do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned

As a twin yes we do. We also argue over who was the “buy one” and who was the “get one free”.

NDA stands for Non't Dalk Aboutit

this is by far my most popular original post on this stupid website in the 15 years i've been here

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

80% water 20% pizza and 100% swag

That’s 200%

I’m twice the man you’ll ever be

forgot how BAD dating apps are jesus christ i need to find my soulmate here on tumblr.com

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

#ow

#stuck

im not immune to the condition that makes you think "but what if the evil alien/robot/eldritch entity/whatever that kills everyone was nicies to me. because im literally chill and have good vibes."