I just came back from attending the funeral of my childhood friend.
He was murdered by the watchmen of my society for a petty argument over a bottle of water a day before.
He was stabbed multiple times and was bleeding profusely, he was admitted to a hospital very fast but waited for the doctor for 4.5 hours and ultimately bled to death on the hospital bed.
All of this happened at around 12:30 am right outside my bedroom window and I didn't know. I didn't even peek outside my window or remove my earphone when I heard the dogs barking down. I should've..
A and me have been friends since kindergarten and just knew each other. Of course we grew apart since we were from different cliques and background but we talked and smiled everytime we met. We were in the same class for 3 years, he used to take my notes and not give back I used to hate him for that but would always give him again for his puppy dog eyes saying please.
I used to tell him to copy the answer fast from my exam sheet and he used to shrug it off saying I'm not gonna do that that's too much work, he was a lazy psycho just as his instagram bio said.
I listened to him talk about his first love to me. And als when they broke up. After school ended all we ever did was just smile at each other.
I considered him a friend but idk about him. We weren't close we used to talk like after a month or so and that too for a few minutes but his vibe, his vibe would make your whole day. I had seen him 2 weeks ago with his back to me.
He was the famous popular gangsta kind of guy around the school and also around the town and talking to him just gave you a taste of being popular idk what that is.
I used to think about him a lot when I was growing up I was jealous over his ability to make friends easily, or how wherever he went everyone loved him, or how his life was always more happening than mine, how he had bigger problems or things to do like going to parties and sorting out matters between his oh so famous friends. I watched him grow so much and would hear stories about him from other people like he was some celebrity.
Even after all this he was so humble. Talked humbly to my mom to me and almost everyone in the society.
He had been through so much. He looked East Asian with his beautiful monogloid features and that's why he was bullied and teased a lot. The internalised racism of the people in my society and outside must've always hurt him and that's why he had that persona, that don't mess with me demeanor which everyone just lables as being a delinquent.
I understood him and felt for him but never said anything because we weren't close.
He didn't deserve what happened to him last night he didn't deserve to be robbed of his life. His parents didn't deserve their only child to be taken away at 18 from them. He didn't deserve the mistreatment he received all his life. He didnt deserve anything that happened to him.
He had a life ahead of him. He had dreams.
The fragile ego of criminal minded adults who don't think once before doing something this bad to a kid must be hanged to life.
I'm so angry and I wanted to say all these confusing a nd twisted thoughts to someone.
I was so confused on should I go to his funeral or not. I was worried that there will be a 100 of his friends who'd be more dear to him. I kept thinking what will happen if I see his face or pass that street I would break down. And was so conflicted that I if I don't go I would regret this for life. I couldn't sleep the whole night.
But then I thought if it were me he'd come I am not completely sure of this but I know knowing his kindness if it were me he would come. So I went I stopped analysing my thoughts or comparing my worth against his other friends and I went to see his last rites.
I cried my heart out hugging my other friends and I saw his beautiful face and all the memories of our childhood came rushing to me and I cried and saw his family and I cried some more. I held on to my other frnd who was like his elder sister and I felt okay.
I bid him goodbye and walked through that street, his blood was still wet on the pavement.
Now I'm home I had lunch after not eating anything since yesterday and idk I feel lighter. My conscience is at peace knowing I did pay my respects. My heart is angry on why is he gone. My mind is still processing the events while typing this paragraph.
A you meant a lot to me than I'd like to admit then. You were a good person, you were a good human, you were a good friend. I loved you and I will miss you. Wherever you are I hope you find peace and I'll put my efforts to get you the justice.
I hope you're playing songs on your red guitar in heaven now. ❤️✨
