This line between us

I hope that “between the crematorium and the dildo store” becomes a famous saying for whenever a person has lost in the most pathetic and undignified way possible. Sort of like how we still use the phrase “crossing the Rubicon” two thousand years after the event. 

Some guy on twitter described it as “being between a cock and a charred place”

what’s the mood for tuesday

That was January... of this year??

Watching him react to these short videos and growing increasingly alarmed and distressed is just the funniest shit ever to me. 

It’s amazing how people in the notes and comments are absolutely FURIOUS at me for the included Frozen comparison. Special shout out to everyone trying to prove that real people look like this.

How humans draw themselves is always fascinating to me

op why are you speaking like you aren’t human i’m scared

Eh…perhaps read my blog description.

Oh hell yeah this is what I’m here for

Okay, I’ve seen this thread a dozen times before, but not with this addendum.

i made the original post in the throes of unmedicated depression because that’s where my sense of humor was at the time. i don’t check my activity page. seeing it barge onto my dash months later with +250k notes and this exchange attached to it like a bunch of rattling tin cans attached to the tail of a rabid dog running loose is fucking WILD

So sometime after whenever humans developed the uncanny valley effect, did we just hunt this mysterious predator to extinction? Or did it die out on it’s own? Or did it evolve as well into something… else? Could it still be living on Earth today?

Idk why dont we ask the “people eating cryptid” who claims to be from a species that’s easy to hide and apparently passes as human who’s like, 3 reblogs above this?

25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

im the sobbing 22yo

reblog Don’t santa for a drama-free holiday

MY FUCKIN HEART

the least realistic thing about star trek is that starfleet uniforms don’t have pockets and nobody complains about it

what if i find a cool rock and want to take it home with me

Every time a member of the USS Enterprise has found a cool rock and taken it home, it has resulted in eleven deaths, six temporal displacements, the holodecks breaking again, and somebody getting turned into a lizard. Pockets are a privilege, not a right.

the inherent tension between the acronyms JFC, JFK, and KFC .......