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Crawling out of my grave to rub my eyes sleepily, grimace, and crawl back in for another five minutes. 

”Explain yourself” followed by “stop making excuses” has always baffled me because the fuck you think explaining myself is????

if you go looking for doom and gloom all you will see is doom and gloom. if you go looking for reduced items at the grocery store you may find a littol treat

the thing is that vibrators really do work well as personal massagers. and that makes me wonder if someone out there really is using a bong to smoke tobacco

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase

everyone needs to grow the fuck up and start playing pretend with toys