you’re telling me a queer coded this

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

I like this site. Y’all just shotgunning counterfactual timelines

People keep tagging this as educational and I don't know what to do or think about that.

Glossary of Terms

I don’t know if I should be amused or distressed by the realization that someday this post will probably be useful to linguists.

Hi, linguist here. It is

@ominous-signs

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

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That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

Remember! When companies lay off all their staff because AI is cheaper, this sort of shit is what you can leverage for a better contract when they are inevitably forced to hire everyone back :)

this is the one meme that manages to age like a fine wine

“afab chests aren’t inherently sexu—” please say breasts please just say breasts please please please stop throwing the term “afab” around say tatas say titties say big bahoona bazingoroos if you must

not to be that guy but if you’re talking about breasts, say breasts. if you’re talking about pregnancy, say pregnancy. you don’t have to bend over backwards coming up with wacky shit like “uterus-having pregnancy-carrier” or “afab presenting nipples” to be more inclusive. half the time, it’s not inclusive anyway. so just be specific. a person with breasts can simply be “a person with breasts.” it’s easy, it’s fun, it’s free

#some trans men don’t have breasts. famously‚ there’s a surgery about it #some cis women don’t have breasts. the same surgery #some trans women do have breasts. famously #there are hormones and also surgery about it #some cis men have breasts. Gandalf for one (via @aurpiment)

One of the guys I worked with told us a story about how, when they were doing archaeology surveys in the woods they ran into a bigfoot hunter. Bigfoot guy asked if they had seen signs of bigfoot, and he was like "Sorry, nothing like that. We're archaeologists, so we're looking for human stuff." and the bigfoot guy was like "Oh! I saw some Native American cairns on my way out here. I can give you a general location." and when he was like "Yeah dude, that'd be sick. We're actually looking to document those." the bigfoot guy was like "Yeah, they looked pretty cool. I didn't touch them though, because Native Americans built them, not bigfoot."

I apologize in advance for the "haha I misread this and thought..." but in all seriousness for two readthroughs I legit thought this was a story about an archeology survey team in the woods who ran into bigfoot and had a nice chat with him about his day and didn't bother to take pictures or document anything because they're only interested in human stuff, not in cryptids, but bigfoot was also nice enough to direct them to some native american cairns, which he did not build.