a postmodern hoe

the circus is empty, all of the monkeys are here

(begging you to get me started) UGH don't get me started.......

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

rb to give a snout-out to the gays

i only like enemies to lovers if it’s gay because i think men who are mean to women don’t deserve to live

i bet it feels good as fuck to be a mermaid swimming in the moonlight