the best fruits are hardest to open
this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it
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@chaosncabbages
the best fruits are hardest to open
this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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anything for my princess 🩵
communist zohran forcing us to roast alive at 172F
She's being so big and brave.
Man at that point I'd just pretend i don't know. How the hell am i supposed to answer her riddle? And what? make her feel bad?
I'd rather die!
Which of them eats you?
Naturally you give the child the honour of her first kill, and both you and mother Sphinx play along as you fall over and let child ineffectually gnaw on your shin as you dramatically cry out about the indignity of you, an adventurer of 30 years, being bested at riddles by a child.
you have to remember it's always always worse on twitter
Why is it so seemingly common to see crunchy gamebooks (not just D&D, lots of games) follow a method of writing where game terms that are invoked dozens or even hundreds of times will have only one passing mention of the term's definition.
Never repeated, never pointed to by any other passage, not even given in an index or glossary, just secreted away in a seemingly random spot like a game of Where's Waldo in a 200+ page text.
This isn't meant to be venting, it's genuinely perplexing that an approach so specific and so counterproductive seems to happen so often. What's the deal?
Most tabletop game designers are very bad technical writers.
(This isn't a knock against game designers in particular; most people in general are very bad technical writers, even among those whose job is to be good at it. It turns out that assessing how your own writing will read from the perspective of someone who doesn't know the things you know is an extremely difficult skill to learn!)
If you're bent in a very particular way, it can be a fun exercise to go through independently published tabletop RPGs and count how many times they just plain forgot to explicitly define some critical piece of jargon the text uses constantly. For most that number is higher than zero!
@rampagingpoet replied:
At least one RPG kept telling you how many dice to roll and how many successes you need for things without ever defining what kind of dice or which results constituted "a success".
You might be surprised how many games will instruct you to roll "dice" without thinking to specify at any point whatsoever how many sides the dice in question are meant to have, in a medium famously associated with dice with variable numbers of sides.
(One may be inclined to assume that a game that just says "dice" without further qualifiers must be talking about conventional six-sided dice. If so, one would assume wrongly.)
#i'm guessing the other most popular assumtion is a d10 from people who came from wod? (via @moon-of-curses)
In my experience it's a three-way tie between "the unqualified die is a d6 because that's what 'dice' means in everyday language", "the unqualified die is a d20 because the author assumes all games are basically identical to Dungeons & Dragons unless otherwise specified", and "the unqualified die is a d10 because it's a dice pool system and the author has never played a game with dice pools constructed from any other kind of dice (and also the text employs but does not define the term 'dice pool')".
@lcatala replied:
Man, how do you fuck up telling people what kind of dice to use??? We have a standard notation for it!!! Even teenage me making awful fantasy RPGs attempts knew to write "roll 3d6"
Tell that to every iteration of Dungeons & Dragons prior to Third Edition, which would often do daft shit like stating the range of a random number without specifying how to obtain it. Just busting out "4–18 goblins" and leaving the GM to work out what combination of dice and modifiers yields those bounds.
#(and as we know 2d8+2 and 1d6+3d4 are totally equivalent and interchangeable :) ) (via @morkaischosen)
Oh, that's not the worst of it – I picked this specific example for a reason. We also need to consider the possibilities that it's an off-by-one typo for "3–18", implying 3d6, or that it's a confusion-of-similar-glyphs typo for "4–16", implying 4d4!

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The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess we’re doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Haven’t I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed by…? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you don’t know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. You’re not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades” during your sugary.
I want a video game with realistic dick and balls physics not for any prurient reason, but... okay, so you know how in some games with boob physics, there's a palpable delay after a character model is instantiated before physics start to apply to the boobs, so it's like *pop* ... *FWOMP*? I want to see the cock version of that. Penis-having character spawns in, there's a beat, then the physics engine tries to play catch-up and applies a full second of gravitational acceleration to their junk all at once and they just randomly start helicoptering.
#wasnt that conan game basically this #idk i never played it (via @piedbirb)
Nah, Conan: Exiles saves on development costs there by applying the same physics simulation it uses for clothing to penises. It's basically treating the cock and balls as a bit of cloth hanging off your character's groin, which produces a totally different (albeit no less entertaining) set of failure modes.
(For those saying this is making them picture a character's penis flapping in the breeze like a flag on a pole or laundry on a line, that was actually, literally happening at launch. I'm not sure if they ever fixed it.)
had a moment of weakness today
when the ogre I hired to guard the castle complains that the longsword I gave him requires a level of control and finesse he isn't used to
audio: [so‿ɡ̊o ˈbæʔ t̯ʊ̆‿ðᵊ ˌǁ͜klə̃ː˧˨ə́b̚]

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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As far as facile inversions of common tropes go, "character who's so pure and innocent that they have no idea their bizarre kinks are in any way unusual and end up scaring the hell out of their ostensibly more worldly peers" is a pretty good one.
why do US patriots think they own "red white and blue" there's a lotta red white and blue flags out there. "i stand for the red white and blue" yass me too let's go costa rica 🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷 let's go laos 🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦 fuck it up liberia 🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷 nepal get triangular with it 🇳🇵🇳🇵🇳🇵
in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed
emoji kitchen is lowkey beautiful guys…
am I doing this right
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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[clearly experiencing symptoms of mania] oh i get it! im finally normal!
the problem with fantasyposting on here is the amount of people who try to "um actually" you on the basis that your post doesn't comply with the rules/mechanics/worldbuilding of dungeons and dragons