No one hates Dragon Age more than Dragon Age fans
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@carverdidnothingwrong
No one hates Dragon Age more than Dragon Age fans

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Also I want to be clear when I say the Kirkwall Gang I do mean Gang like these guys are at the top of a crime syndicate they are smuggling goods and selling drugs and everyone in Lowtown knows if you want to get something dodgy organised on the down low you go to The Hanged Man after 10pm and ask to be invited to Varric’s private room.
Aveline grits her teeth and puts up with it bc Hawke had persuaded her that she provides some degree of security and control to Lowtown and if it wasn’t her it would be some other crime boss who doesn’t even try to keep up an image if looking out for the little guy
Also I want to be clear when I say the Kirkwall Gang I do mean Gang like these guys are at the top of a crime syndicate they are smuggling goods and selling drugs and everyone in Lowtown knows if you want to get something dodgy organised on the down low you go to The Hanged Man after 10pm and ask to be invited to Varric’s private room.
DA2 Character Age Headcanons
Based on absolutely nothing but my vibes! I assume most of the Kirkwall Crew must be assigned ages somewhere in the canon but I don’t care bc this is my playground now. All these ages are for the beginning of Act 1, after the Hawkes have been in Kirkwall for a year and when they start meeting the rest of the gang.
Greetings and goodbyes.

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something something “I ruin everything I touch” and “Touch me, I’m already ruined.”
thinking about leliana rocking up to kirkwall in 9:37, assessing the situation ground, and telling hawke (and therefore by extension, she is aware, anders and the mage underground) that she plans to ask the divine for an exalted march that she never intends to ask for in the first place.
*two days’ journey out* *weird red explosion on the distant horizon* i wonder that could ever be. the maker blesses us with such a mysterious and beautiful sky
how interesting would it have been if datv was really willing to engage with dalish belief and give the elven religion more depth than evil slaver gods who are led by an entity that embodies tyranny. feeling kind of insane considering the Implications of andruil being . consumed? subsumed? in an act of love and mourning by ghilan’nain and pondering the theological analyses that could come out of that… the way that would impact religious practice…
there’s that post that puts the “no coke for me i just wanted to be in this tiny bathroom with you” over a screenshot of merrill and i get the vibe they’re going for but merrill would totally do coke with her friends in the bathroom of the hanged man.
i think hawke brings the coke. could also be isabela like she knows where to get coke and she would do coke for fun but the more i think about it i think hawke HAS coke.
i kind of think the second to last line is ew bioware neoliberalism but “take that back” is frying me. why is red hawke soooo underrated

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some isabela/merrill for your troubles
by unpopular demand. from here. my official list of which dai characters should Not like cullen like that
varric's opinion should depend on whether hawke was pro-mage or pro-templar. pro-mage hawke's varric should also refuse to say anything negative about cullen until you have high approval, because he is also a prisoner here and what is he, an idiot?
cole should say, out loud, with his mouth, that he has compassion for cullen and understands his fears and etc. but any time theyre in a room together cole should immediately get, like, Spirit Freakout Weird, and then they need to be separated. because cole can't cope with the impressions hes getting of mages being kidnapped and harrowed and made tranquil and killed.
sera should hate him outright. are you kidding. her whole bit is she's anti-authoritarian and sets herself Against people who wield institutional power & who have the power and inclination to commit to actions with disproportionate effects on the marginalised and the vulnerable. and cullen's career trajectory has been templar -> knight captain in city where templars more or less run the show -> (acting) knight commander, same city -> commander of religious army. she should be Loud and Insensitive about it
vivienne should not be able to forget that he was knight captain in kirkwall during the escalation of violence against mages culminating in the chantry explosion and (botched?) annulment. she's a mage who created for herself through luck and skill and daring an incredibly precarious position of influence, she knows the templars probably resent her enormously; she's the leader of the loyalist mages; and how can she look at him without thinking of what he's been part of, and wondering what it will take for him to turn on her? and conversely, cullen might not be part of the templar order anymore, but he absolutely believes that the templars should, in some form, exist— he's spent two games as a Zealot. he should have feelings about basically the most politically prominent mage in the south making moves towards becoming divine. feelings about mages in "real" politics, not just circle politics. can anybody hear me. also vivienne should not ever say this out loud u should only be able to tell by comparing how she speaks to him with how she speaks to characters she feels actively warm to but in a vacuum it's not obvious and she should only be willing to tell You w/ high approval
dorian is a tevinter altus. he is a necromancer. per the orlesian chantry hes basically already a blood mage even though by his definition he is Not. cullen should hate him on principle — a product of a nation in which mages aren't just free but (supposedly universally) revered, in which mages keep slaves and practice blood magic, The Big Scary That The Orlesian Circles Rely On As Evidence Of What Happens When You Let Mages Be People. and conversely— dorian comes from tevinter! to him, a templar is the dog of the wealthy ruling class! and to be honest southern templars are not better, they just serve different masters... and he of all people should feel that a templar's ~power over mages~ is basically just a cultural construct. like. we have seen that when mages Genuinely fight back, templars start dropping immediately. nobody is more well-positioned to know this and disdain southern templars' skills and power than dorian, who did not grow up with the culturally ingrained fear and awe of them that southern circle mages did. THEY SHOULD GET INTO IT. and he should take many opportunities to say it also
i dont have a six. taking suggestions
OH SOLAS WAS MY SIX. ok i feel like this one is obvious though right
one thing i don't get is the insistence on cullen as a Wholesome Farm Boy. like, he was high-ranked in a crusading army for >ten years. he's not a farm boy. he was raised on a farm but he has been part of the scaffolding of religious oppression for over a decade. and he (and his writer) leans hard on the appearance of down to earth ferelden simplicity, as per shortbreadgate, but he is not and has never been a working class farmer. we don't get a lot about his childhood, so it's not clear how old he was when he joined the templars, but given that he's already a knight when we meet him in origins, I would guess he's been with the chantry since his early teens, if not earlier. the reliance on the image of him as a steadfast working class farmer who fights the noble fight is a) christian propaganda and b) a perception that is absolutely wielded against his detractors by meredith, elthina, and later on cassandra👍
Romance Prompt Questions:
✨ First Times ✨
To spark some positive fandom enthusiasm, I thought I'd try creating a ~fun little ask prompt~, so here goes!
Send an ask with "The first time..." and fill in the rest with whatever you like - then receive snippets, headcanons, or a mix of both!
This can be serious ("the first time character A confided something in character B" / "the first time character B thought about kissing character A" / "the first time they dealt with loss together") or entirely silly ("the first time character A heard character B snoring" / "the first time character A's uniform was horribly out of place in front of character B" / "the first time they laughed so hard they cried together").
I encourage all writers and non-writers alike to participate however they wish! This isn't about creating mesmerizing prose, but about sharing in each others' love of the Characters™.
Affectionately, which is your least favorite major location in Dragon Age Inquisition?
Forbidden Oasis
Hissing Wastes
Fallow Mire
Exalted Plains
Storm Coast
Hinterlands
Western Approach
Emerald Graves
Crestwood
Emprise du Lion
Bald egg / results
I don't even ask this to be critical/negative, I'm just curious what region do you go "ugh..." when you reach it while playing DAI?

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I'm not sure I can fully substantiate this but Leandra and Bethany and and any fHawke who isn't actively reactively overcorrecting on this (which Amice isn't) have this have this thing for me where men get coddled and any contribution they make towards the betterment of the situation is worthy of high praise, while the contributions of fellow women are comparatively taken for granted.
I keep running Illario and Lucanis over in my head. The thing is I really like Illario as a character, and I think I would really like Lucanis too, but I need the ability to give him shit. I need Rook to be able to go to town telling Lucanis that all this shit that happened with Illario and Zara Renata and the Ossuary and Caterina is solidly his fault too, because he is the one going around with such an overidealised idea of what the Crows are he forgot this is the 'assassinate other people for political power' guild, even as he goes around on the daily assassinating other people for political power. I need to tell him he's been complicit in the abusive family dynamic that's going on from the start, and he's actively participated any time he's negged Illario for being too rash and incompetent and unreliable. And at that point one of the other companions can be like 'dude, that doesn't mean he deserved to get stuffed in an underwater prison and tortured, and it doesn't mean he deserves you reaming him out like this as his boss' and I'd be like 'yeah, true' and feel bad about it. But I think the thing I'm trying to say is that in more than one way the choice to be angry and disagreeable and even 'evil', to dislike or even hate the companions within the game itself, was a fail safe against actually disliking them. It's really hard for me to dislike a character you can show your disdain around. It's really easy to hate one that I feel forced to smile and laugh for.