kk-Kate

Part 1 | Part 2

Word count: 473

Regulus "I do NOT hate children" Black and said gaggle of children he does NOT hate

part 2!

“Hello? Reg? Reggie. Regulus. Reginald. Arcturus. Archie? Black. Potter. Future Potter-Black! FUTURE POTTER-BLA-” 

“What is it?!” Regulus all but screamed at her from the kitchen. 

“Oh, there is our favorite twat!” Andromeda had exclaimed before launching into her speech“You know how me and Cissy wanted this girls’ night out, right? Well, we were thinking of a visit to Madam Pattie’s Patchwork and some other places and-” 

“Get to the point, Andy” Regulus had said, wandering in the living room with his apron still tied around his waist. Andromeda’s face smirked at him from the little red-brick fireplace in the corner. 

“Don’t you think it would be sweet for dear Draco to sleep over at-” 

“No, it would not be sweet, it would be sticky-” 

“-nd just imagine, two of your favorite children all under one roof-” 

“-omeda, I can BARELY handle Harry-” 

“-then it’s all set! Put it on your calendar, June twelfth, sleepover of the little ones, see you then!” Andromeda all but rushed to get out before backing out of the fireplace. 

Regulus groaned in frustration but still set a reminder spell on his notebook to make sure he doesn’t forget, and he made sure to tell James all about it when he got back from practice. 

And that was it. 

... 

...until.... 

Next was Pandora, who knocked on his door just a week later as he was preparing a movie night with Harry. She had lovely little Luna on her hip, both girls smiling sheepishly at him. 

“Hey Reg. Regulus. Reginald. Re-” 

“I’m getting deja-vu already, Panda. Please, just cut to the point” Regulus sighed, dreaming of going back to his little nest of pillows and blankets. 

Pandora cleared her throat and gave Luna a meaningful look. The girl nodded vigorously before shimmying from her mother’s arms and making her way to the floor. 

She walked forward and hugged Regulus, though she wasn’t tall enough and could barely wrap her arms around his calves. Little Luna propped her chin on his kneecaps and blinked innocently up at her godfather. 

“Uncle ‘eggie?” she asks, a light lilt to her voice. Regulus feels half his resolve crumble already. “I heard D’aco and ‘arry have a sleepov’r soon, and I wanna come too!” 

Looking from little Luna – who's already pouting – to her mother – who’s also pouting (damn you, Dora, his mind supplies)– Regulus decides that maybe he’s got half a good bone left in himself after the war. 

“Yes, Luna,” he sighs, patting her head gently “you can come over too. We'd love to have you.” 

Part 1 | Part 2 |

Word count: 512

Regulus "I do NOT hate children" Black and said gaggle of children he does NOT hate

part 1!

When he was young, Regulus used to hate other children (nevermind that he was one too) and that hatred often manifested through his teenage years. 

Children were loud, sticky little beings with no respect for the true joys of life: personal space, silence, and Regulus’s personal favorite - alone time. Even at a young age, Regulus Arcturus Black understood those idals much better than most people and heavily indulged in them, not like others, who would spend their birthdays singing off-key and loudly, their weekend sleeping late and their teenage years trying things for thefirst time. No, he did not have time for such childish things.

However, then he became a death eater and didn’t have much time to debate whether or not his prejudices on children had any solid ground. 

That was his sturdy, iron-clad opinion… a decade ago. 

Ten years ago, he forgot he was a child himself as he was thrown into a war. 

Nine years ago, Kreacher sacrificed himself and, for the first time in many years, Regulus bawled like a baby over his friend before finding Sirius and trusting him with destroying the locket. 

Eight years ago, he started horcrux hunting with Evan and Barty to avenge him. Oh, and Lucius went to prison, leaving his lovely cousin pregnant (not really heartbroken, though). 

Seven years ago, the Potters had a kid. And the Longbottoms had one, a boy. And Narcissa had Draco….and then Pandora had a girl with the Lovegood man……and Regulus became a godfather without even meeting the kid……and didn't the Longbottoms have something named a "clean break"? - whatever that was....and Sirius started saying he and Lupin were looking to adopt…… 

(To say the least, that was his most eventful year) 

And a mere six years ago, just as he was telling Sirius, Remus and Potter - and his wife at the time, Lily - how Nagini was surely the last horcrux, Pettigrew came running in and confessed he had infiltrated Voldermort’s inner circle out of fear but instead found out some interesting things… 

Like how the Dark Lord wanted the Potters and the Longbottoms dead. 

And, to everyone’s shock, that he had managed to escape and had killed Nagini on his way out, mostly by accident. 

And that brings us to his current reality – a world in which he’s been dating James for two years, he’s a stepdad to Harry Evans-Potter and goes for weekly tea (and gossip) to Lily’s lovely, lovely new wife, Mary Evans-MacDonald right after dropping Harry off to the Evans-MacDonald house for the weekend. 

It’s a good life, really. He has his brother back. Dorcas forgave him after he helped save the McKinnons. He sees Evan and Barty at least weekly. He’s got an amazing boyfriend and a whole new family for goodness’ sake! 

One of the largest differences though, is that he’s now surrounded by children. A gaggle of them. All... sticky and loud and a little unpleasant at times.

He’s got two nephews and one niece, two godchildren and even a stepson. All of which, to put it plainly, means he doesn’t hate children anymore. 

Even if he doesn’t enjoy it much when he’s touched by sticky hands or whipped by Luna’s braid or trampled over by Draco on his way to hug Harry goodbye after playdates or kicked in the shin by Teddy when he doesn’t give her enough sweets or manhandled by Dora for being "too weak"- 

...yeah. But he doesn’t hate children anymore, seriously! 

That's how he’s reached this point – a looming sleepover party in which he has to babysit. 

It started, as all troublesome things do, with a floo call from none other but Andy Tonks herself. 

Sirius & Marlene table dance at every opportunity and swing their heads when rock and alt rock come on

Remus either nods to the music or sits on the side watching others dance

Mary takes people by the hand and twirls and swirls them around

Lily IS the people being taken by the hand and twirled and swirled around

Pandora and Sybill free dance with their arms over their heads and eyes closed half the time

Peter does the worm and the octopus arms

Evan doesn't dance much or maximum twirls Pandora around if she asks politely

Barty dances anything that makes Evan jealous until Evan teaches him how to waltz (iykyk)

Regulus doesn't dance unless properly wasted and only waltzes bcs he doesn't know other dances

Lily shakes her curly hair out after untying it? He's SWOONING

Regulus rolls his eyes with a smirk at something Evan said? Dead. He's gone

Sirius is too busy staring at Remus and trips over his own feet? He can't stop smiling (after he finishes laughing of course)

Peter keeps nodding off during one of McGonagal's lectures? He's sending Moony a slip of paper asking for his camera to take a picture

Mary chews the end of her pencil while thinking? Great, now he's doing it too (and he's chewing the rubber too)

Remus being all pouty because Sirius couldn't come to the infirmary to see him after a full moon? That's it, James needs to tattoo this moment on his retinas

Marlene has a secret handshake with all the Valkyries and Dorcas? But James wants one too :(

Sirius, on the inside: oh shit stay calm he just tucked your hair behind your ear like you're in a bloody romcom EEEEEEKKKKKK HOLY SHIT what do I do he's so hot and so cute and dammit he's looking at you confused shit sHIT SHIT what did he just say I can't handle this I wasnt raised to sustain this kind of affection SHIIIIIIITTTTTT DO SOMETHING ANYTHING I cannot handle this I

Sirius, on the outside: thanks Moony ;)

and then you have bartylus and bartylily and sunkiller and grimkiller and they're all super toxic or possessive or