Mar 12
kinda crazy how bartemius crouchemius junioremius pulled so many bitches because how did that loser do that???
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kinda crazy how bartemius crouchemius junioremius pulled so many bitches because how did that loser do that???
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Sirius going on a few dates with a guy, and one day coming home to flowers delivered on his doorstep with the note from Barty xx it takes him a second to realise... he never told Barty where he lives.
"when did you get hot?" but now it's barty going to azkaban and seeing sirius in prison robes with tattoos and a crazed look in his eyes.
I think the concept of sirius finding out about his brother dating his friend (could be james, could also be remus or peter cause we love rarepairs) and then getting back at him by getting with barty would be so fucking hilarious
entertain - jegulus/bitchkiller - @into-the-jeggyverse - word count: 369
cw: nsfw-ish? nothing graphic
The thing is, Regulus knew that what he was doing was going completely against some kind of unwritten sibling code. He did.
Hidden in between the rules about ‘you can steal any t-shirt you want but not that one because it’s special’ and ‘I can tease you about that, but they can’t’ was the number one golden rule of brotherhood, the one that you don’t ever break.
You don’t fuck your brothers best friend.
But that’s where he currently found himself, with James Potter's tongue in his mouth and his hands wrapped around his throat pressing ever so deliciously.
But the other thing is - and this is an important thing, Regulus thinks - is that deep down in the core of his being he is incredibly fucking petty. And Sirius had broken the rule first.
He’d fancied James for ages - years, maybe. And it was pretty obvious that James liked him back, he was the least subtle person ever when he had a crush and Regulus absolutely knew about it. So under normal circumstances - the circumstances where he and Sirius had a strained but strengthening brotherly relationship - Regulus wouldn’t even entertain the thought of breaking the cardinal rule and actually going for what he desperately wanted.
But when he walked into his dorm to what he assumed was the sound of Barty and Evan finally getting their shit together only to see a Gryffindor red tie on the floor and his own brother's pasty arse bent over the bed, he snapped.
He and James would work out, you don’t spend as long pining as the two of them did without ending up in something that lasted. Sirius and Barty wouldn’t - logically, Regulus knew they were only doing what they were doing because the people they were actually in love with were holding back on them for some reason or another.
And Sirius and Regulus? They would fight it out but ultimately come out the other side as brothers like they always did, each argument building them back a little bit stronger than before. Though it was nice to have the moral high ground for a change, it was usually Regulus fucking up first and being too stubborn to admit it.
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barty crouch jr. is the unofficial piercer of hogwarts. he did all of his and evan's piercings, did dorcas' back dermals, and did pandora's bridge before they started getting questions and he started getting requests.
it started small, just a couple other slytherin students asking for a piercing in exchange for money or weed, but he slowly began attracting more and more students until even the great sirius black showed up outside his dorm room with some galleons stuffed in his pants wanting a tongue piercing
his tongue was pierced. he ended up paying in other ways
James: Are you sure you haven't done anything to lead Barty on?
Sirius: Well, I do beat him up a lot. For Barty, that's like third base.
James and Barty’s biggest flex is that they’ve fucked both black brothers and each other
and Remus who are we kidding