Woodsmoke and Moonshine

Cottontail Rabbits in combat!!! - TX, USA

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A Guest Post by

Dipper & Mabel Pines

(The post is done in two ink colors and two fonts -- pink for Mabel's lines, and blue for Dipper's lines.)

M: HI, READERS!!!!! IT'S ME, MABEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D: Mabel!! Easy, you're going to break the exclamation point key.

M: BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO EXCLAIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D: Okay, I'm taking over the keyboard now. Hey, folks! I'm Dipper Pines, seasoned paranormal investigator, and that's my twin sister, Mabel, who is the reason they have to put "Do not eat" labels on fruit-scented erasers.

M: That's right! We're here because we were invited by the guy who invented books, "Barnaby Nobles" -- (D: Barnes & Noble) -- to tell you about the new best book of all time: The Art of Gravity Falls! This book has EVERYTHING! COLORS! WORDS! NEVER-BEFORE-REVEALED ART and SECRETS about me and Dipper's bonkers summer in Gravity Falls! You have the Mabel Guarantee: "it will EXPLODE an INSPIRATION BOMB in your FACE!"

D: To any law enforcement agents, that's a metaphor. This book is not a bomb. Please don't put us in jail.

M: Plus, there's a fold-out poster-y page of EVERY SINGLE SWEATER I'VE EVER WORN! Whatttt?????

D: Mabel, don't forget the hidden cryptograms! Me and Ford have been looking at this book through magnifying glasses, pointed at microscopes, pointed at telescopes, and we're starting to think that there might be a massive secret in these pages right. under our noses that could finally reveal everyt--

M: LOL! I dunno about that, Mr. Paranoid, but the Barnes & Noble edition does have one nifty secret: a perfect removable replica of the LETTER that WENDY gave to DIPPER on our last day in town!  That YOU can have for your VERY OWN!

D: WHAT?! My LETTER from WENDY is in this BOOK? Wait, don't.... don't look at that! That's private! DON'T BUY THIS BOOK!

M: PREORDER NOW by pressing the link below! CLICK CLICK CLICK! DO IT!

D: DON'T BUY IT! IT'S TOO PERSONAL!

M: SEE YA IN THE BOOKSTORES, FRIENDS!

D: I'm going to delete this message before Mabel can hit--

M: SEND!

The largest dam removal in U.S. history. So successful that the salmon that haven’t run freely in the river for literally over a century came back the next year. Not steady progress over a decade as expected, the very next salmon run they came home. No one alive saw salmon in that river outside the hatcheries kept by native’s tribes and the Department of Fish And Wildlife scientists desperately trying to save them. One of the activists who helped bring the suit spoke of their dying grandmother making them promise to bring the fish home, and they didn’t know how that was possible, but they spent decades doing it.

The legal basis for successfully suing the power company who owned the dams was Indigenous treaty rights to eat the fish. Eating the fish was the one thing in a century that succeeded in being a clear and legally binding right that superseded the desires of white capital and industry. I have been going to the public interest environmental law conference off and on for 20 years where a lot of organizing for Undam The Klamath happened. I’ve heard updates about every legal tact they tried as they happened, and they tried everything.

There are healthy, thriving salmon, trout, and lamprey in a rewilding and recovering Klamath River right now as a direct result of Indigenous people eating them. Of their legally binding right to eat them. They sure as fuck care more about those fish than any white vegan ever could. They are salmon people that the Creator sent Salmon to feed, while charging the People with protecting and stewarding them. It’s not possible to learn about salmon and trout in the Pacific Northwest without learning this, and it’s unambiguously racist to dismiss this symbiotic relationship.

The white vegans are trying to get all hunting and fishing banned in Oregon, and that’s quite possibly the single most catastrophic thing that could be done to the animals here because we killed off all the major predators of creatures like deer and without anything hunting them their numbers will explode, eat all the vegetation, destroy the ecosystem, and then die along with everything else in that failing ecosystem. Controlled hunting of deer is vitally necessary for the deer to survive. This is something Native people know, but patronizing racist savior-complex white people refuse to listen to.

I have a whole collection of Oregon’s Public Broadcasting’s documentaries about Klamath River or the larger story of fish and people in the region. If you watch nothing else, watch Klamath Dams Are Coming Out, First Salmon Ceremony, After The Dams, and First Decent (Native made). It could not be clearer that the salmon are being protected and nourished by the people who eat them, and that stewardship is a massive part of their creation myths. But it contradicts political vegan dogma so they don’t listen.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."