Hello, friend!

MY HEART

What she said.

we’re trying to have a fucking society here

can’t my serotonin levels just regulate their fucking selves. grow up

you’re too good to be true

love games! im bad at each and every single one of them

Tiny hands.

doctor says i have too many immuno goblins in my blood

Doctor hands you a prescription that just says “roll for initiative”

I pick up a prescription at my local pharmacy and they hand me a pill bottle with a d20 in it

1920s furry gangster: like nyah, see? >:3

*machine gun fire* OwO

German: Marienkäfer. Maria’s bug.

And how a bug can be a lady?

how can it be Maria’s bug?

Bitten by a radioactive cicada now all I do is sit in a tree and scream all day

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

I love this post

Them: hey man if you jump into the water you’ll fucking drown Me: i’m all in baby

“come here, we have free healthcare and-” me: *dives in*

well, well, well, if it isn’t the feelings i’ve been trying to avoid