i'm into knitting now

obsessed w how none of these are the real origin of the phrase

You wrote about murder?? Murder is illegal?? You wrote about this dude killing someone and you didn't even say 'murder is bad' at the start of the book, wht wtf, wtf is wrong with you? I can't believe you condone murder, I can't believe you're pro murber, oh my fucking God don'ttalk to me when ou literally kill people, freak. I'm calling the cops, what the fuck, I'm shaking and crying.

sofas are not for sitting on idiot. you fool. you worm. they're for piling Items (Things, Objects, Miscellania) on and beholding it with sadness and saying 'i wish i could sit down'

I’m going to the grocery store does anyone want to sublet my apartment for 45 minutes

How much

Only 3400

hot damn 🏃‍♂️ cmon guys lets go 🏃‍♂️🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🧞‍♀️

ok I’m back you and your boyfriend and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your djinn can go

learning languages is fun because in some areas youll be like "oh wow theres one word for this thing thats covered by 20 different words in english? thats so easy and convinient!" and then in other areas you'll be like "what the fuck do you mean you use different numbers depending on what kind of object youre counting. im going to kill myself."

"okay ❤️ yay ❤️" remains an unmatched response

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

CEASE THIS IMMEDIATELY

You... voted for the pigeon, too?

i know when i'm outmatched

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.