“The average person kidnaps 3 scientists a year" factoid is actualy just statistical error.
Eva Stratt, who lives in a boat & kidnaps several laboratories worth each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted
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@capispaghetti
“The average person kidnaps 3 scientists a year" factoid is actualy just statistical error.
Eva Stratt, who lives in a boat & kidnaps several laboratories worth each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

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My personal Coltland Gentry name Headcanons:
Ryland Grace: started as Grace Gentry. When he transitioned he wanted a more masculine name but still felt a connection to the name Grace so decided to make that his surname. Getting rid of his father's surname was a bonus.
Colt Seavers: decided to get his name changed at the same time as Ryland, but went with taking their mother's maiden name. His full first name is Colton but no one calls him that.
Courtland Gentry: named after his father and hated being reminded of that. He still misses it though. It's the only name the twins knew him by.
Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system
(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy
One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable
To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit
"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."
I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.
everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing
Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction
They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined
Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman
beating this dead horse with memes
"Mal is ruthless and morally dubious" "Simon is boring" "Kaylee is so sweet that she can do no wrong" "Jayne is an idiot with nothing else goin on"
His hat...

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Waking up with a headache is such extra bullshit
Like, aquiring a headache during the day? Fair, understandable, many things to cause that
Waking up however! During my time of rest and refreshment? and this is how you greet me? Fuck off
"If only Stratt had the coma resistant gene she would've gone herse-" what if she went anyway.
What if she spent the journey awake with no one but the comatose bodies of her friends for company.
What if she watched as Yao's life support failed and couldn't do anything to help but mourn.
What if she woke up one "morning" to find Ilyukhina gone too and had to grapple with the fact that the only ones left were here and the man she betrayed.
What if she sat by Grace's side from then on because the thought that he could die too was too much to bear, and even if she knew her presence changed nothing it was she best she could do.
What if she watched him sleep.
Firefly x Things To Never Say To Someone Who Just Came Out
Firefly Textpost Meme 149

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I’m sorry, but this hand holding thing…
is it auto cannibalism to eat your clone
yes. thats you
no. its just normalstyle cannibalism
idk??? why the fuck are you asking this????
note: auto cannibalism means eating your own flesh. like if you cut off your finger and eat it thats auto cannibalism. for anyone who doesnt know what that means. now you know
okay i have another question
is it auto cannibalism if the clone isnt a full clone, and is instead lab grown meat with your genetic makeup. phm style. meburgers
yes. still you
no. still normalstyle cannibalism
hypothetical here
you are a clone. you have all the memories of the original, and think the same way as they do. you are, essentially, a perfect copy of them. now then, if you were to murder the original…
would it be auto cannibalism to eat then
yes
no
another hypothetical
now, lets say you were to chop off your arm. completely severed. if you were to make a perfect copy of that arm, and then eat said perfect copy…
would that be auto cannibalism
yes
no
keeping in mind that your original arm is still intact. just. not exactly part of your body anymore
Easy Answer: Once a clone is 'alive'/can form their own experiences in the world/is created separately from you, they are their own person (who just so happens to look like you)
I got one of the Sue South novelisations for my birthday (Vaulting North) and I'll probably maybe (if I remember) share some of my thoughts about it properly once I'm finished but... Um... "How to tell a book was written by a man in the 90's":
I'm sorry– if he had been a woman she would've FIRED HIM ON THE SPOT? FOR BEING TOO ATTRACTIVE?
>Up until the punching, it was a real nice party.

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I MADE A FIREFLY MEME!! This is my first time doing this — don't judge — I had time on my hands, so I thought it'd be funny. I hope yall like it!!
Firefly doesn't explore queerness very much, because it's a 2000s show and written by j*ss wh*don but:
1. Inara services both women, and men, but usually men
2. Nandi asks Mal if he's sly, and his response is that "I lean towards womenfolk".
Now, full disclosure, I personally think Simon is gay, Kaylee is a lesbian, Book and River are aroace, and everyone else is bi, so I tend to interpret the canon of Simon/Kaylee as a sort of comphet, and part of Simon's uptightness and need to be "appropriate" is a way of repressing his own sexuality (see also Mal's reasoning for the crew largely not hiring Nandi's workers being marriage, priesthood, and Simon's uptightness, before Nandi asks whether Mal is sly). As such, this interpretation doesn't necessarily gel with the intended canon of the show and I very much understand if that isn't your thing!!
Onto the actual analysis.
1. Inara servicing women, and the scene of her and the councillor in War Stories, comes off as quite fetish-y from Whedon, particularly considering what we now know of his behaviour towards women, but also because of Jayne's reaction to it. With that being said, Inara says that being a Companion isn't solely about sex, it's also an emotional experience, and a Companion chooses their own clients, so I think it's safe to extrapolate this as her being bi. I haven't quite decided if I think her mainly servicing men is a preference or just a larger selection pool, like how many bi people irl end up in straight-presenting relationships because there's a larger dating pool. But I am a staunch believer in Inara/Kaylee, and I think both of them are also demisexual (once Kaylee gets past her comphet of course), with how Inara emphasises the emotional components of her job. The main question for me here is what language they would use to describe themselves, which leads into number 2.
2. The only label used in Firefly to refer to queerness is "sly", and we're never given a precise definition for it, which implies it's fairly commonly used, at least on the Rim. It could refer to men who are exclusively attracted to men, men who are at all attracted to men, anyone who's exclusively attracted to the same gender, or anyone who's at all attracted to the same gender. It could also be a mix, like how we use gay as an umbrella term for same-gender attraction, but also to refer to gay men exclusively, and sometimes to refer to gay men and lesbians. Mal's response of "no, I lean towards womenfolk" leads me to believe that it refers to exclusively same-gender attraction, because "are you gay? "No, I have a preference for women" kind of implies that men are in the mix. That being said, I'm not sure how lesbians would be referred to, because irl there's somewhat of a distinction between "gay" and "lesbian", but this ties into a broader pattern of queer representation (especially in the 2000s) being largely bi women and gay men. It's also entirely possible that the more precise labels we have today still exist on the more urban planets, while "sly" is a slang and/or euphemistic term for being gay on the Rim.
There isn't *really* a point to any of this, I just kind of wanted to lay out my thoughts on the fairly limited discussion of queerness in Firefly, because I think queerness fits into the themes of the show well, but I don't think the time period the show aired in or the writer would have handled it well. Frankly, I think the little we *did* get could have been handled much better. But if anyone wants me to expand on any of this, or anything else about Firefly, *please* let me know because I have so many thoughts on this show and I've talked my irl friends and family to death about it.
Absolutely vibing with your headcanons tbh; aroace river is particularly dear to me and I mean...so is Inara/Kaylee
i mean yeah i want you to expand on this (and anything else on Firefly) forever and ever; queerness in firefly is fascinating to me both re: headcanons and the actual show, because there's so much room for interpretation
i think Simon and Kaylee in a comphet “why isn't this working 😟” relationship is a really interesting interpretation I'd love to see more headcanon bits on (and also a really fun fanfic premise btw.....)
I really like that demisexual Inara interpretation. She does sort of consistently talk about emotional connections and making careful choices, doesn't she!
Good stuff on the terminology; i would agree sly is more of a specific word mostly based on Mal's “I lean” word choice and how you pointed out he doesn't seem to be writing off same sex attraction entirely.
chanting! queer firefly! queer firefly!
absolutely agree on ‘sly’ being specific terminology and not just a personal nandi euphemism the way it’s used in context. it does have me wondering about the cultural context of queerness in the rim vs. the core and whether it’s considered more ‘acceptable’ in one vs. the other, how that manifests etc. nandi for instance seems perfectly comfortable, but she is from the core and also is just generally willing (and in fact insistent on) bucking against tradition. my read would maybe be that on the rim there is a sorta “do what you want but don’t talk about it” mentality, except for places like her’s. whereas on the core it might be a little more (in some places) surface-level accepting, but there is very much like, a Right and Wrong way to be queer in those circles, and i do wonder if traditional/“old money” families (like i think we could logically read the tams as being) would carry the same prejudices they (often) do today. unsure on that.
‘sly’ as a word does seem to possibly imply some level of concealment since the standard definitions are “clever or cunning, especially in the practice of deceit”, “stealthy”, or “playfully mischievous,” which does make me think it might not be as broadly accepted as we’d hope? which admittedly tracks — one of the core tenets of firefly as a narrative was more or less that we have all the same problems 500 years into the future. it’s also possible it’s been far removed from original meaning and recontextualized.
agreed on the grossness of war stories. if there was one ‘iconic’ quote i would erase from the broader fandom’s lexicon it would be the whole “i’ll be in my bunk” thing. it’s just blatantly fetishistic and while that tracks for jayne, the narrative quite clearly plays it for laughs (multiple times). this is a recurring problem with the JW’s works - particularly in buffy, which is his other body of work i’m most familiar with. i definitely wouldn’t have trusted him to handle it in firefly; it was not well-handled there, by and large.
tbh, i’ve always thought the intended readimg (which is not to say it’s the one i agree with) of mal’s “i lean towards womenfolk” was just to be mal’s being like, cool and chill about it but also distancing himself from the “sly” label in a ~no homo~ sort of way, but the WAY they chose to word his nonchalant response was! interesting! bc lean does inherently imply a preference but not an outright denial of same gender attraction. bi mal rights
also while there are ways in which mal is a very traditionally masculine character, he has no problem wearing a dress for a job a la mrs. reynolds and (jokingly? unclear) implies to inara’s it’s not the first time he’s worn women’s clothing. while wearing dresses and skirts and what have you doesn’t make a man inherently clear, his willingness to do so is an interest aspect of the conversation.
jayne calls simon a “big city dandy” in the pilot and while the insult has a lot more to do with class and simon’s presentation (as a ‘dandy’ is a man who takes great care in his appearance) (there is more historical context that i am way oversimplifying but sh), there is also a definite association between the term and being queer - particularly (to my understanding), it’s a term that’s often been levied against gay men. i don’t really think that’s how jayne was using it, but i do wonder if that same association exists here.
admittedly i have a huge soft spot for simon x kaylee lol, BUT i am always willing to entertain other readings and if we’re looking at firefly through a queer lens (hell yeah), i definitely think the comp het idea makes a lot of sense, particularly given that kaylee’s initial draw to him seems to come from a perceived desirability (young handsome doctor etc), and simon can definitely be read as just like, responding to that energy. and some of simon’s fumbles with her can be read as (largely subconscious?) self-sabotage. there are multiple readings of Where that self-sabotage could stem from, but his being gay would definitely make sense on that front! and like realistically regardless the specifics of the actual dynamic between simon and kaylee, the idea of the dynamic is fully rooted in compulsory heterosexuality, bc whedon and co saw they had a female and male character in roughly the same age-group and decided they were a Ship and she’s having feelings right away, even though we don’t even see them meet to get some indication of Why.
my personal character headcanon philosophy is that they are whatever gender and orientation feels right to me on a given day. i am playing with them like barbies lol.
that being said, one of my biggest ‘i could actually see a reasonable argument for this as canon maybe’ headcanons is simon as greyromantic/greysexual + demi and like. not experiencing attraction all that regularly to begin with but also needing that bond/emotional closeness before he does, which tends to be how i read his dynamic with kaylee (along with a whole host of psychological repression reasons getting in the way lol.) not saying this to diminish gay simon with comp het at ALL btw that’s a good one too (and also a very real argument one could make in canon). just another fun little scenario