#yosaffbridge

Trash

Nekkid Mal!! What a way to introduce the episode 😂😂😂😂

"Yeah. That went well."

Absolutely love the bond he has with Monty and he's genuinely so pleased to hear he's got married...until he finds out exactly who the bride is and immediately pulls a gun on YoSaffBridge and it's a stand-off-

And then a fight!! Which has to be broken up by Monty and then YoSaffBridge tells on herself because he never actually told her Mal's name

"AH SHAVED MAH BEARD FOR YOU, DEVIL WOMAN!"

Mal is just so unimpressed at YoSaffBridge's attempts to get to him and I do love that even though he does go along with the heist plan he never once trusted her

Inara vs Mal #13537474 because these two can never have a normal conversation and once again she definitely wins

I'd actually forgotten he'd snuck her on board in a crate but this is even more hilarious when we know the crew was in on it the whole time cos it turns out that this means he did that because it was funny

(Ironically, though, if this was their first meeting of YoSaffBridge they might not have twigged for ages, not all of them - it's a plausible story because there's plenty of shitheads in the 'verse but turns out Haymer's not even that)

Obviously River's known about Jayne the whole time so I do wonder why wait til now to reveal it? I mean I know the brain scrambling doesn't help but this feels like deliberate timing - perhaps it might've come out in a worse way if not (is this also why she points out that he's afraid rather than angry or resentful?)

Hacking the bin and Wash once again gets to show off his exellent piloting skills

Haymer turns out to be yet another husband and the one YoSaffBridge actually cares about (as much as she ever can care about anyone) and Mal is both completely thrown and yet entirely unimpressed by this...then YoSaffBridge completely freaks out when it turns out Haymer knew she was coming to steal something and his next statement is so very true - this woman does indeed need some serious help

Mal really should've known better than to get too close but at least there were failsafes - the reveal that Inara was the back-up back-up is just brilliant and she's having the time of her life

Simon will not, in fact, harm Jayne, but that doesn't mean he can't threaten or psyche him out (while River straights up spooks him with 'Also, I can kill you with my brain.")

Once More, With Clarity!!! Mal's nekkid in the desert and delighted with how everything's gone down and then proceeds to act as if being nekkid is completely usual for him. Love it

The Message

The least convincing fake alien to ever fake alien

Simon's an awkward bean but he wasn't doing that bad until he tried to make a joke (please do not try and make a joke) and everyone roasts him for it, as they should

"Oh my god, it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar."

*Seconds later* "Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race, and we must learn to live in harmony!"

Mal does care about Inara but of course he still can't outright say it

The reveal that Jayne is a Mama's Boy and a good big brother to boot!!! Mama Cobb's hat is just the best thing

Mal and Zoe find their old war buddy in a crate and we're treated to a war flashback - Tracey nearly gets killed for beans and we see the complete contrast between Zoe and Mal's approaches to fighting

Back in the present even River roasts Simon about Kaylee

The message scene still continues to be one of the most emotional especially now I now that everyone involved had just found out about the show being cancelled and even the composer reflected this in the music. It just gets you

And in universe everyone - even Jayne - is affected by what's happened, but they all rally one way or another (especially love the scene between Jayne and Book)

The story of Tracey stealing a senior officer's mustache is hilarious, though

Tracey turns out to be alive after all but the real question is why is Jayne so unfazed by him suddenly springing up like that???? "Spry for a dead fella" sir why are you acting like this is normal???

Organ smuggling by replacing your own organs...and then getting yourself into this situation by double-crossing your original buyer (and as others have pointed out, apparently because he didn't consider what would then happen to his actual organs)

Wash is still an excellent pilot but there's no fancy flying that can get them out of this because the other ship just...flies above the canyon

Kaylee is into Tracey for whatever reason but he can't be trusted and he apparently doesn't trust the crew because he doesn't give them a chance to explain - I know some people wonder why they didn't tell him what their plan actually was but...yeah, no, I'm not sure there was ever really a chance of getting through to him - the guy was jumpy enough to go eavesdropping in the first place and his go-to move is to start threatening and shooting at the crew-

Which seals his fate once he takes Kaylee hostage because now Mal has gone from pissed to utterly furious - and calls out Tracey's entire plan because it was a really stupid one

Mal doesn't kill unless he has to, but going after his crew guarantees that is exactly what will happen and it's exactly what does happen, and it's all because Tracey didn't trust them

Book once again shows he's made of steel because he's worked out exactly why the Feds are here, it's because they've gone rogue

Tracey's death is still sad, though, and especially with that poem, with the message played once again at his funeral - "When you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't crawl, when you can't do that...you find someone to carry you"

And the crew do as asked and deliver him back to his parents and it's just one of the most gut-wrenching episodes ever.

(Because no one wins)

"Y'know, husband," she said, pulling out a knife, "it's kind of nauseating how attached you are to that crew of yours."

"Sure you didn't swallow some of your lipstick?" Mal asked. "Tends to make you feel funny."

Ignoring him, she slowly walked around him, idily running the flat of the blade down his back.

"You really aren't gonna give them up, are you?"

Mal stayed silent, flexing his wrists against the ropes tying him to the chair.

Saffron stopped in front of the captain and shook her head.

"You really are a loyal wang ba dan."

Lifting the knife, she flashed Mal a humourless smile. "Luckily, I can't say the same for me, husband dear."

For the, like, 3 people who may be interested: I got off my lazy hind end long enough to put the badly formatted text of my saffron shawl up at AO3. The charts are still rong, but the album they are in is linked from the text.