#simon tam

i am also thinking thoughts about like… i joke about projection a lot (and don’t get me wrong! there is a fair amount of projection going on around here! lmao) (i try to at least acknowledge when that’s happening bc i do ultimately also value seeing characters for what they are and not just like, the popular fanon of themselves, so i feel the need to point out when i’m being sort of self-indulgent lmao) and i think it’s a fairly common sentiment in fandom spaces, but there’s also sort of a differentiation i make between pure projection that’s mostly just me having fun inflicting whatever on characters i like and to some degree relate to vs. what i think of (and this sounds sort of pretentious and i am sorry for that but there’s just no other way to say it lmao) as like. ~recognizing the self through the other~ but the other just happens to be fictional. which is not entirely inherently the same thing!

like. me saying “i think simon has ocd” leans more projection bc… well okay, in theory this is a projection-y headcanon. but it’s also sort of a bad example sjhshs bc i’ve seen enough other people who have experienced it also say it and see enough traits in his canon character that have a Vibe (it’s difficult to explain. iykyk lmao) that it makes it seem not so out of the realm of possibility to me lmao. but regardless: i don’t actually ultimately see it as the narrative intention. and frankly i think some of the traits i see are just easily explained by like, autism (bc there is a decent amount of overlap), which i also think of ultimately as having a stronger basis in canon/semi-intentional coding.

speaking of that: the whole “i think simon can come across as So Mistrusting bc he is otherwise taking things at face value/sort of gullible and overcorrects in serious moments” read is something i genuinely believe was part of the narrative intent that may have gotten explored in more depth down the line. bc like… again, i do think it matters that jayne’s prank happens and simon believes him, despite Knowing they don’t have a great relationship, not long before he freaks out and accuses mal, who he’d clearly started to trust a little in spite of himself, of using him and river as bargaining chips. like, those moments are in not-quite direct but nonetheless present narrative opposition to each other within the ep. i see it as something that is (a bit understatedly, but even so) In The Text, and also i just happen to recognize it uhh For Reasons lmao.

"It looks at loving somebody as an increasingly radical act, or looking at love as a transgressive act."