iCandi Art

To quote Cave Johnson: "Science isn't about why, it's about WHY NOT!"

I want a knife gun.

For an updated Ides of March

Mods this into Fallout: New Vegas just so I can use it to fucking GET Caesar

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

my great-grandfather had to leave italy in the 20′s because he hit a fascist with a tuba, so if you think I am going to take this sitting down you are going to have to catch these hands and also this tuba

Fun story my Great Great Grandma left Germany in the 1920s because she had family in the US and could get citizenship pretty easily and once she was over in the US she then smuggled over 15 jewish families out by forging family documents so now my aunts are currently in the process of trying to tell the real ones from the fake ones because my great gran just died and there are legally over 100 surviving descendants but we know that math is a lil screwy.

Sometimes a family is you, your kids, your grandkids, your great grandkids, and the 15 Jewish families you helped smuggle out of Nazi Germany.

And your tuba

This is the funniest & most accurate character explanation I’ve ever read lmfao

You have lived for months as a “pet” to a cruel vampire, and it has been miserable. You’ve nearly resigned to your fate when two new vampires show up to the residence claiming to be from VETH (Vampires for the Ethical Treatment of Humans).

im gods weakest faggot

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

im gods most literate cat can i join

I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.

my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic

wobbuffet

a printer error is an attempt from god to get you to kill yourself but you must be stronger and you must must must beat the printer to death with a large object like object

No your honor i would never kill out of anger. I killed that guy for sport