I'll point you home

i need (abruptly stops talking & stares at some random fixed point with a vacant expression)

Revisiting this one today…

MAY ALL YOUR OBSTACLES COLLAPSE IN THE YEAR TO COME LIKE UNTO A GIANT STRAW GOAT IN THE WIND

Oh you know he said roo roo roo roo

SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.

NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED

YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.

It's supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front

I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.

Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.

Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?

cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder

Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time

actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.

Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!

Oh my ZOD I love that

Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.

okay but I still want to know what dolphins have to do with this???

Ten minutes for homemade cranberry sauce??????? What are you on. No. That's 40 minutes minimum and you better be adding pepper flakes and orange juice.

As a bitch with texture ✨preferences✨ the only way I will eat it is jellied and the you have to still see the can lines for optimal flavor.

If there's one thing I will never understand it's Lord of the Rings fans wanting to be an elf in Middle Earth. I mean, sure they're graceful and pretty but they live too damn long and having to witness an eternity of stupidity from the species around them. Like, imagine being Elrond and basically witnessing a cringe compilation of the human race. Nope. No thanks.

I've been witnessing a cringe compilation of the human race my whole life. Elrond is not special.

Me neither (until the soy sauce, when I yelled "FOR FUCKS SAKE" again).

Until the what

plane tickets should be Free if you miss yuor friends

maybe growing up is just becoming who you were at 14 again but learning how to love her this time

i bet there were guys in the 1800s who were super fucking Reddit about everything, but no one had the right word yet for why those guys were so annoying. so they just had to wonder

that is a "hello darkness my old friend" face if I ever saw one.

Cybersmith off his shits

I recently saw it pointed out elseTumblr that, a remarkably easy detail to miss, she is going for her hatpin. The clear social cues are about to escalate.

I for one think that is very valid of her and that hatpinning That Guy should still be considered a socially acceptable and perhaps even laudable option.