Love the idea that in a better life when the Clone Wars end, commander Cody gets both a promotion and married shortly after. So next time someone asks for ‘General Kenobi’ Cody proudly walks in like “that would be me!”

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JBB: An Artblog!

oozey mess

JVL
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Claire Keane
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Janaina Medeiros
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

#extradirty
we're not kids anymore.

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Today's Document
🪼
Xuebing Du

seen from United States
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seen from Chile
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@oft-goes-awry
Love the idea that in a better life when the Clone Wars end, commander Cody gets both a promotion and married shortly after. So next time someone asks for ‘General Kenobi’ Cody proudly walks in like “that would be me!”

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"We know it looks like a butt plug, just drink the water, it's hot outside"
Seriously though he's right, stay hydrated
"Fill up," he says.
that post about “you get bandits when you cut soldiers loose without pay” reminds me of the Thirty Years War, because one could say that beneath all the religious schisms and diplomatic jockeying, the heart of the thirty years war was “what happens when you have a state with just enough capacity to raise massive armies but without enough financial capacity to actually pay those armies” and the answer is that the line between professional armies and roving gangs of bandits disappears and every time you try to raise an army it just becomes another independently acting wildfire devouring the countryside. No matter how bad things get, every day I wake up and thank my lucky stars that I do not live in 17th century Europe. Or 17th century China. Or the 17th century Americas. Or basically anywhere in the 17th century.
One of my favorite little anecdotes about ancient mercenaries is that it was tradition for most of history to give your mercenaries two wages- "Bread" and "Gravy." Both were set at a daily value, but where "Bread" was intended to cover regular maintenance and life stuff and therefore paid out frequently (Here's your week's meal and gear repair budget!) the "Gravy" wage was paid out exclusively at the end of the contract as one lump sum. So like, your gravy wage and bread wage might be one silver coin per day each, so you're getting a handful of coins every week to cover food, and then at the end of an 800 day campaign, you get a wheelbarrow with 800 coins.
Employers liked offering this structure because then they didn't have to like, try to guess how long the invasion of spain will take and then carry 800 coins per soldier around the battlefield where it could be captured. It also gives them the chance to budget around the assumption that they take an enemy city and *find* vast sums of treasure even if they don't have the full value at the beginning of the war.
The main flaw of this system is that it's very easy to end up in a scenario where if you have, say, 50,000 guys that have been fighting for 800 days, you now owe 40 million silver to your army, and if the budget has not worked out to a 40 million surplus, you literally can't afford to end the war, but you can probably afford to pay them for a couple more weeks. So then you have to start thinking creatively.
Anyway across all time and history a lot of generals were ultimately beaten to death by men chanting gravy.

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if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit
The process of carefully layering and then cleanly unmolding a rainbow jelly cake
every time i see this image it makes me happy
or this one
I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.
sometimes it just ends up being something like
ITS BACK
Y’ALL NEED JESUS
Please stop reblogging this post
This post made my water break
In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.
WHAT
God, I love this accursed website.
Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!
Happy July 2nd, 2024, guess Marceline is 7 now
Happy July 2nd, 2025; she’s 8 now (5am for me)
Happy Birthday to my Marceline, 8 years ago today (July 2, 2025) she came into this world five days before her due date to see wtf was so funny 🤣 this post, like many other things, are on a long list of topics to discuss when she’s older lol
Happy 9th Birthday Little Marceline!!! (July 2 2026)
It’s July 2 2026 internet, help me wish a Happy Birthday to my brilliant and beautiful 9 year old, Marceline! I’ve shown her (most of) the comments and she says “thank u internet 😁😁”

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I still like the term parental unit that we used to use as a joke in middle school and high school. Did everyone else do that or was it just a my social circles thing?
Anyways telling the kids to go collect their parental units at the end of an event is a) funny b) gender neutral and c) just refers to the person currently doing your parenting
Also if you’re on joking terms with your parents “greetings, child” “greetings, parental unit” is a top tier greeting. Makes you sound like robot aliens.
Walking down the street to the post office at nine pm, just LOVE seeing the distant flashes of heat lightning the entire time.
Ah, summer in the south.
There are so many theories about Columbo’s wife not being real (she’s a complete fabrication, she’s secretly his boyfriend, he’s actually talking about a very opinionated cat, etc) and I love all of them but tbh he really gives off major “out of touch but super supportive straight man with a trans wife” vibes.
His wife was one of his guy friends for a while and when she finally came out to him he was like “Oh, wouldja look at that! This is VERY convenient. See, I’ve never been into guys myself. Nothing against fellas who like that, just not my cup of tea. So I’ve been trying to figure out for ages why I want to ask you out on a date. Confusin the heck out of me. Again, nothing against it, just never something I’ve been into before. I was having a whole identity crisis over it, Yknow. But I guess that clears all that up! Whaddaya say to dinner?”
bucky has a disability??
he doesn’t have an arm.
happy almost ten years to my all-time favorite disability post on this braincell forsaken website
Tags via @redtailfins

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Happy pride Shana!
Anything FMA please!
a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
Esther has spent half her life as the Xerxian ambassador to Amestris and has weathered all sort of political tomfoolery and two wars. King Pakor's newest scheme with Ed is amusing, but ultimately a strange whim of a mostly stable monarch.
She's known many Furhers and many powerful men. She trusts Roy Mustang's intentions.
When Ed slips into her home in the middle of the night, she nearly goes after him with a frying pan. He's quiet and serious, and one of those things is bad but both is disastrous.
Then he tells her that the Dwarf in the Flask has somehow gotten involved in Amestrian politics, is likely embedded in this country in a way that's not good for any of them.
King Pakor must be alerted. This is too delicate and too important for the usual channels, but she promises to take care of it.
~
Al thinks this whole mess that Ed has gotten himself involved in is hilarious and his own fault really. This is what he gets for still going to court instead of ignoring all the missives Pakor sends because, really, what's the king going to do about it? There's no prison that can hold them and they already make bi annual trips to Xerxes to do the work of months of several construction crews. Pakor should just take what he gets out of them and be grateful.
When Ed calls him, he's expecting more whining and funny anecdotes and hearing what the hell he and Ling have gotten up to right under the Fuhrer's nose.
Except what he says is, "Do you know where Dad is right now?"
His stomach drops. "What's wrong?"
Ed never has any patience for their father. Whenever he sends a letter home, he refuses to read it.
"His old friend is in Central," he says, voices carefully casual. "He might want to swing by."
Al locks his knees together. "Get out of there."
"Aw, Al, don't be like that," he says. "If you don't want to visit-"
"I'll be on the next train out," he interrupts. If Ed won't leave, then of course Al will go to him.
The last time his family went up against the Dwarf in the Flask, their mother died.
~
When Van Edris steps into the office, Maes doesn't recognize him at first.
His hair is braided back. His jewelry is gone and the bright red and gold traditional outfit has been replaced by thick black boots, leather pants, and a black tank top with a wide neck. He's got on a long red coat that's not exactly subtle, but also isn't gold embroidered silk. He only has a moment to wonder who took Van Edris shopping when he stops in front of his desk and catches his eye before jerking his head towards Roy's office.
Confusion fills the rest of the office, but Maes only shrugs at the others before following Van Edris, since that's clearly what he wants him to do. He closes the door behind them and Van Edris stands, eyeing them both carefully. Roy doesn't seem to have any more of a clue about what's going on than Maes does and he looks at Van Edris and says something in Xingese.
Van Edris bites the inside of his cheek then says, "You guys are fucked and if you don't want to stay that way, you're going to need some help."
In perfect, unaccented Amestrian.
Roy's mouth drops and Maes tries not to be distracted by all that implies, instead asking, "Fucked how, Van Edris?"
"If that's even your name," Roy mutters. Clearly he's not interested in prioritizing.
"It's my name!" he snaps, then frowns. "Well, one of them. The other is Edward Elric, but that's really not the point."
Elric? Why does that sound familiar...
"The alchemist?" Roy demands incredulously.
Oh, right, that's why.
Maybe they should be focusing on the implications, actually.
the four things that matter most.