Wallpaper Minions

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so a racist got utterly demolished in less than 30 seconds on the New Zealand morning news on Monday and it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen

(clears throat deliberately) “’Janice’ says: Good morning. I’m sick of hearing that Māori need different treatment. If they don’t want to live in our society, then maybe we should put them all on an island and leave them to it.”

Male co-host: “Janice. That is LITERALLY what happened! That is the history of our country. Last I checked, Māori WERE on an island, they were left to it, and then Pākehā (Māori term for white New Zealanders) turned up and look how that worked out. But thank you very much for that brilliant insight. Goodness me. Unbelievable. Unbelievable, they actually-“

Female co-host: “Actually, you can’t even get angry, you just actually need to laugh and then screw it up and put it under the desk. Just when you thought-“

“It’s a common misconception that members of gay relationships have to map onto the roles of a straight couple: woman and asshole,” said Acharya. “But neither of us is the asshole; that’s the entire point.”

Ryser had a number of follow-up questions to this explanation.

“So, if neither of you is the asshole,” said Ryser, “then who plays devil’s advocate when you’re having sensitive political conversations? Who takes the other person’s side when you describe a microaggression? And who gets furious when you’re driving and one of you has to pee?”

Demonstrating immense patience, Acharya tried once more to help Ryser understand.

True Story

because they look like flying mice [Danish: flagermus, German: Fledermaus, Luxembourgish: Fliedermaus, Swedish: fladdermus]

because they look like half mice and half owl [French: chauve-souris]

because they look like half mice and it’s not 100% clear what the other half is [Ladin: utschè-mezmieur, Catalan: rat-penat, Lombard: mezzarat]

because apparently they make a flap flap noise [English: bat]

because they’ve got badass leather wings [Gaelic: sciathàn leathair, Old Norse: leðrblaka]

because they look like cute nocturnal butterflies [Maltese: farflett il-lejl]

because they’re probably, like, blind mice [Serbo-croatian: sismis, Portugese: morcego, Spanish: murcíelago, Arabic: khaffash]

because they fly at night [Italian: pipistrello, Slovenian: netopir, Polish: nietoperz, Greek: nykterides, Farsi: shab parreh]

The “straight guy” face

she is a broken person

unlike for james, who could quit at any time and return to a comfortable life, for jessie, team rocket is everything she has.

she lived in poverty, with a mother who was a criminal, and they were so poor they ate snow

her mother disappeared, looking for mew. there was never a mention of jessie having a father

she wanted to be an actress, and decided to take that route instead of going with a boy she loved, but she ended up losing both as her audition didn’t go through

she wanted to be a nurse, but failed

and now she keeps failing trying to catch that god damned pikachu

as much as i like dawn i almost want jessie to win all the ribbons because she fucking deserves to be happy and she deserves those victories and she deserves a friend like james

james’ family has riches and luxury, yes, but his parents are neglectful & uncaring and have engaged him to an abuser. they refuse to let him live in the lap of luxury unless he marries her and spends his whole life miserable.

everything about jessie and james is, from where i’m standing, intended to be opposite. james is a soft-spoken boy from a family that knows wealth but not love. jessie is a headstrong and outspoken girl from a family that knows love but is dirt poor.