Noah Kahan
h
@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
bliss lane
Claire Keane
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
The Bowery Presents
EXPECTATIONS
Sade Olutola
titsay
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Xuebing Du
cherry valley forever
Color Me Curious
untitled
d e v o n
shark vs the universe
seen from Malaysia
seen from Bulgaria
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Venezuela
seen from Uruguay
seen from Canada
seen from Brazil
seen from India
seen from Finland
seen from Malaysia
seen from Iraq
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from South Korea
seen from Malaysia
seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
@butler-snodgrass
Nearly pissed myself laughing earlier when I saw this absolute Looney Tunes truck attempting to transport an oversized mattress down the road with only a couple tiny bungee cords holding on for dear life, while it ballooned out behind the truck like a drag racing parachute:
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horse with a dvd player on its back 2006-03-21
wild
sorry I have some kind of brain disease
I suspect this was meant as a visual pun because this server is rated for 733 watts, almost exactly one metric horsepower
Someone asked me a while ago if I still had a photo of the worst sink I had ever seen while apartment hunting in Los Angeles. I assumed I deleted it so I didn't answer the ask and now it's gone, but as it turns out, yes, I do still have a photo of it.
You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.
Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌
Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.
I mean this with all due respect:
You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.
Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.
Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.
If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.
You may be unable to return to shore. Rescue may be unable to find you quickly.
Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer
And if you're really lucky you'll get a brain-eating amoeba, starve it to death, and enter politics.
new chess piece called the jester which can move anywhere on the board but can't capture anything. it just gets in the way to annoy your opponent
hold on let me look something up
what yhe hell
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it’s actually a major plot point in pride and prejudice that mr darcy doesnt try harder to convince lizzy to accept his proposal but rather his decision to change his perspective and behavior in light of her rejection made him actually attractive to her so that she was more willing to accept him the second time. he specifically tried to conceal his involvement in saving lydia so that lizzy wouldn’t feel obligated to him and only hoped that his helping bingley get back together with jane might bring him into regular contact with lizzy again so that she might see that he’s changed.
he very famously told her in the dialogue preceding his second proposal that he couldn’t bring himself to hope she’d ever change her mind about him and would never mention his feelings for her again if she told him not to
oh, the 2010s. the days on tumblr that felt like they'd last forever. seymour. randy. assorted others.
Me, when someone asks about the Bone Thief and the Hamilton AIDS hoax
settings > wound > my wound > reopen
do not forget this
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if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit
Any day now
people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody
nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it
“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”
“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”
please watch the round planet on netflix it’s exactly like that
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it's so crazy too bc i'll be like "this phrase/practice is being touted as ancient knowledge with a secret unbroken lineage, but it was quite literally made up in the 20th century. like we can trace it back to its very inception in like 1961." and someone will be like "that can't be true because my grandmother taught it to me." and i'm like yes your grandmother was 20 in 1961.
How to survive an opera
Soprano: unless it’s an opera buffa, you are probably screwed. a few survival methods are:
- do NOT date the tenor
- marry a rich bass
- run away with the mezzo
- try not to get tuberculosis
Tenor: almost as screwed as the soprano
- be a jerk, they somehow tend to survive
- get a soprano to die for you (not entirely foolproof but sometimes works)
- DO NOT piss off the baritone
- also do not duel the baritone
- just be gay for the baritone it’s the best idea (careful tho: you might be related)
- find a wise bass to teach you the way of the Jedi
Mezzo/Contralto: pretty good survival rate, but a few things to watch out for.
- DO NOT piss off the tenor
- DO NOT let your whiny brother rape the tenor’s wife
- just. stay away from tenors
- put on breeches. now you are immortal
Baritone: better survival rates than a tenor or a soprano but oh so many potential deaths…
- DO NOT duel the tenor. Statistically you have a better chance at winning but what if his boyfriend is the Dark Lord Satan?
- do not be the title character in anything that isn’t opera buffa, you WILL be dead
- if you are good-aligned, you dead
- if a bass tells you the other bass is evil and wants you dead. maybe LISTEN
- if there is another baritone, and you KNOW he’s a treacherous little shit, jail him immediately instead of letting him roam free around your drink
- do not leave sharp objects where sopranos can see them
- do NOT provoke the bass. you may win at first, but the motherfucker will be back, now with supernatural powers
Bass: generally pretty good survival rates, but…
- learn to swim
- DO NOT provoke the baritone. your low constitution (because you put all points into cunning) vs his maxed strength will not have good results
- be the Devil, you can’t die and you already live in Hell
- maybe do not murder children for the throne. just a suggestion
- do not try to fight whoever seduced your daughter. it’s not worth it
- do not think you can get away with being a terrible husband if your father-in-law is a god
