How The Times Choose To Cast Us

In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought she’d try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:

“So here’s the thing… I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and you’re doing interesting things with them.

“My biggest critique is, I only merely *dislike* this piece. I want you to make me HATE it. Go crazy with the things that you like. Don’t hold back trying to make it palatable to people like me. Because I am NEVER going to like it. And if the audience does not like it, it should drive them crazy seeing how much YOU love it.”

Her portfolio was chock full of neon colors and glitter and rhinestones and splashes of peacock feathers and it was a delight. Our teacher despised every piece lol, but she got great marks and I think even won some awards. And more importantly, she was happy and proud of the results. Because she didn’t limit herself by trying to appeal to people who were never going to enjoy what she enjoyed.

Someone encouraged me to share more about this art teacher, and I don’t want to say anything identifying, but I will say, it’s been about 10 years since my last class with him. Since then he’s finished his MFA (master’s of fine arts) and had a couple terrific gallery shows, and to this day is still teaching at my old high school, still making a difference in young lives. Some other fun facts about my art teacher:

At the time I attended, he was the only Black faculty member at a predominantly white suburban school. He often challenged students’ limited world views with his own experience, encouraging them to broaden their understanding of the world and of themselves.

He had a good rapport with the art kids, to the point where constructive criticism was often framed as a lighthearted roast. That peacock feather girl? I remember him watching her set up her portfolio for the art show and saying something like “my eyes are bleeding. This is terrific” 🤣 (He did not do this with students that were not ok with it! But lots of us were.) His classroom was a very comfortable place for expression, and he worked hard to keep it that way. Disagreement was encouraged. Good-natured clowning was encouraged. Just plain negativity or toxicity was NOT. And he called it out ruthlessly.

He got a passport solely so he could go to Canada for a Prince concert. I have never met a more fervent Prince stan. And he also owned a pair of red faux alligator shoes. Idk why that’s important, but it’s important to me that you know that xD maybe that’s his own cringe coming in, idk, but it helps paint the picture~

(via bsky)

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

i used to work at a Local Organic Produce store that's popular with the lefties in my city who are interested in food justice. i quit for a lot of reasons, mostly the boss, but something i will always remember is one of our suppliers coming in to drop off produce, being told her check wasn't ready, and her laughing and responding it didn't matter -- even a low bank account was more than enough to pay the migrants who picked her produce. i am not filling in any blanks here. she said this.

after quitting, this was a common story i told people about my time there. some then became annoyed at me, acting like i was a wokescold trying to undermine the store's "eco" mission with unrelated "ethical" concerns. but, like -- if food justice isn't for the people making food, who the fuck is it for?

BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

Image description: A screenshot of the symptoms of 'factitious disorder,' from the Mayo Clinic. The symptoms are listed below alongside my discussion of them.

This is the 'condition' that used to be known as Munchausen's.

I am not claiming that nobody ever fakes being sick. But it is vanishingly rare compared to the number of people who ARE sick, but doctors refuse to take it seriously.

Let's take a look at some of these. How can they tell if the medical problems are 'clever and convincing' or just... real, if it's one of the hundreds of conditions that don't show up in a clean cut way on imaging or labs ?

'Deep knowledge of medical terms and diseases' is much more commonly a symptom of being forced to do your own research because doctors refuse to help you figure out what's going on. I have deep knowledge of certain medical terms and diseases. Wish I didn't have to.

'Vague or inconsistent symptoms' - you mean like those that occur in, once again, the many conditions doctors like to ignore and dismiss because clear objective diagnostic measures don't exist yet? Like they did with multiple sclerosis before they invented the MRI?

'Conditions that get worse for no clear reason' - sometimes the reason is pretty clear! Medical neglect! And many conditions worsen for no obvious reason. Do they not understand the concepts of progressive,' 'degenerative', or 'relapsing-remitting'?

'Seeking treatment from many healthcare professionals' - it's almost like if a doctor dismisses your symptoms or refuses treatment you might need to look for another?

'Not wanting healthcare professionals to talk to family or friends' - Many chronically ill people live in abusive situations and/or with people who do not believe they are sick.

'Staying in the hospital a lot' - Because you're sick and no one will provide appropriate treatment outpatient. Because they don't believe you. So it escalates to hospital severity.

'Desire for frequent testing or risky surgeries and procedures' - It's almost like people want to find out what's wrong with them? And get treatment for it even if it has risks?

'Many surgical scars or evidence of many procedures' - Sure yeah let's just demonize people for having had medical care. Alright.

'Having few visitors when in the hospital' - Yeah, definitely if a chronically ill person experiences social isolation or abandonment they must be faking. We definitely don't live in a culture that isolates sick people.

'Arguing with healthcare professionals and staff' - And this is the one that inspired my addition to this post. G-d forbid we know anything about our bodies or advocate for ourselves.

Someone I care about very much was recently 'diagnosed' with this despite massive evidence of life threatening, untreated medical conditions. This diagnosis can kill people.

Image: Mayo Clinic screenshot, overview of 'somatic symptom disorder.'

"Somatic symptom disorder involves focusing too much on physical symptoms such as pain or tiredness. This focus causes major emotional distress and makes it hard to function. You may or may not have another medical condition that causes these symptoms. But how you think, feel and behave because of the symptoms can be extreme."

"You might often think the worst about your symptoms. You may seek medical care often, searching for a reason for the symptoms, even when other serious conditions have been ruled out. You also might spend so much time and energy focusing on your symptoms that it's hard to function, sometimes leading to more challenges in your life."

So... if you find your symptoms of an actual real diagnosed medical disorder 'too' distressing, seek 'too much' medical care, and want to find out why you're sick, they can just diagnose you with 'Never take this person's medical problems seriously again disorder'.

The 'even when other serious conditions have been ruled out' part is especially absurd. Which other serious conditions? Sure, if you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras - rule out the most common possibilities first. But if you're still having symptoms that don't fit your existing diagnoses? Then yeah, you might want to rule out less common causes!

And the idea that it's not the symptoms themselves that cause the problems, just that you spend too much time focusing on them... I've noticed a strange phenomenon in my personal experience where I spend a lot less time and energy focusing on my symptoms when they are treated to the point that they aren't severely debilitating. Idk, maybe that's just me.

And the symptoms list... how do they not hear themselves?

Image: List of symptoms from same Mayo Clinic page.

Symptoms of somatic symptom disorder may include:

Specific symptoms, such as pain or shortness of breath.

General symptoms, such as feeling very tired or weak

Symptoms not related to any medical cause.

Symptoms related to a medical condition but that are more severe than usually expected.

One symptom, many symptoms or symptoms that change over time.

Mild, moderate or severe symptoms.

It's literally... any symptoms? Mild, moderate, severe, general, specific, related or unrelated to a diagnosed medical condition. With the clear implication that if it's not diagnosed yet or if it's unusually severe, it's fake.

My UK store for my small, size-inclusive, ethically made clothing brand is closing in just a few weeks, and until then, almost everything in that store is on sale! It's sad to see the UK store closing, so please help it go out with a bang.

which in turn activated my sleeper autist, and we ended up talking about fiber arts, where i learned that this woman is part of the local lacemaker's guild and uses her woodworking experience to carve lace bobbins on the lathe. she then gave me the email address of the woman who runs it, because their group has no social media and only meets when the lead lady says 'everyone come to my house.'

while all of this was going on, another woman walks up. her partner was shopping for wood repair stuff and she heard us talking about fiber- she's a spinner who does historical reenactments nearby. period accurate, processes the wool herself. of course i ask her if they need volunteers and she gives me her contact info

I was about to make a post about how that’s funny and how, y’know people can have our lemons, it’s not a big deal because the tree pumps them out like gangbusters, but I really can’t make that post without thinking of… them…

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.