The old intro post got a bit outdated, so here's a new one.
Hi, I'm Graves. I'm an adult from europe, pronouns are she/her. Not a native english speaker, so if I mess something up too badly, feel free to point it out. I've been on tumblr for almost a decade now, and been in a lot of fandoms, but the most common ones you'll see here are-
Transformers, which is the one that'll never fully go away from this blog because it'll never fully leave my brain,
Warhammer, the newest big one, and I plan to stay for quite a while,
Rain World, because that game altered my brain chemistry, and,
Star wars, which is just an all around good time. Especially clone wars stuff.
Other interests include: generally anything that has robots in it, Star Trek, Ultrakill, Stardew valley, Gravity falls, Minecraft, Undertale, Trigun, Obey me, and many others I can't think of at the moment.
I also write and draw, and you can find my works under the tags #lastwrites and #graveyart respectively. For ease of access, I also now have-
a Warhammer masterlist
and a Transformers and Co. masterlist.
Also, here's my AO3 page. Most of my works are there as well, though my OC fics generally tend to remain just here.
My dms, asks and submissions are open, so if you want to talk about fandom, my fics, or just send me the most atrocious pun you know, feel free to do so. If we've interacted and we're mutuals, you can also ask for my discord.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Was gonna do another breaking down what I adore about character dynamics post, but then Bethael fucking va
Then it made me think about Bethael more, or more specifically his issues with his frenzy stuff bc it brings me joys. Both a love letter character rant, bits of breakdown, bits of theory and thought, once again just screaming into the abyss. This post is long as fuck whoops.
To begin with we have to address the potentially real potentially a ptsd butcher's nails manifestation battle brother that is Helbros.
Helbros tells us a lot about Bethael even if he proves to be a real and alive person.
I'm talking about the choice of words Helbros uses when Bethael finally goes into a frenzy against him.
Specifically the phrase "There you are" in place of any other choice of words. Which, if Helbros is real implies that someone who has known Bethael since pre-heresy days-
(I think Bethael is that old? He was there for Terra and like. Everything. So unless I misheard or misunderstood then yeah, pre-heresy days)
-does not register Bethael as himself unless he is in a state where he literally cannot control himself, where he doesn't register anything other than fighting. Which is pretty likely with the whole World Eater + Khorne thing. Helbros taunts and jeers and actively wants Bethael to give into the Nails. Despite this, Helbros himself is never said to be in a frenzy, nor is depicted to be in one by Thurston. Bethael gives in, because it's what his brother wants.
"There you are" Helbros says, because Bethael isn't meant to be holding back against his brother, the Bethael Helbros knows wouldn't stop at a friendly sparing match. It means that Bethael had likely spent more time in his frenzy around others than he has out of it. Which, again, is likely due to the Nails + Khorne thing
Now, if Helbros isn't real? Well. Doesn't that bring up so many questions! For starters, what is he? A hallucination of some kind, sure, but *what* is he. Some form of survivors guilt, maybe the first of his own Bethael had slain? A tether keeping Bethael from fully succumbing to the nails? A physical manifestation of the nails? I'm more keen to believe it's some combination of all 3.
Either way, Helbros' words carry new meaning if we think of him as a hallucination. It implies that Bethael is the one who doesn't see himself as Bethael when he isn't frenzied. It means he's been going into the cages and essentially beating himself up to the point of fatigue. It means that Bethael's identity is so frayed that he is afraid of himself.
When he nearly kills Byzanti, he isn't upset that Byzanti didn't die, he's upset that he attacked Byzanti in a frenzy. He's upset because he wasn't himself.
In the latest episode on YouTube, Episode 9, Bethael doesn't frenzy. This was a case of player being afraid of consequences, but the implications of Bethael being afraid of consequences is very very fun :)
In Episode 7 and 8, we learn how fragmented Bethael's memories are. We learn that it is physically painful to recall them in some cases, and in others he was so Lost In The Khorne Sauce⢠he literally cannot remember a thing.
I also wanna take this moment to address Bethael's reaction to Yvgeny's breakdown.
Y'know, "I traded a collar of gold for a collar of bone," that one.
Bethael is adamant on many things, many of them directly countering what his fellow Chaos Astarte say to Yvgeny.
One, No-one is collared.
Two, Bethael wholeheartedly believes that Yvgeny won't die in the care of the Chaos Astartes, or at least that Yvgeny was going to live longer than a few weeks.
I want to focus on the collar thing. It's very reminiscent of one of the reasons (once again I'm very new to WH40k please don't kill me with hammers) the World Eaters rebranded. They weren't hounds. They weren't something to be tamed. They aren't dogs who'll listen to commands.
When Lyphos and Byzanti antagonize Bethael, they are eager to call him a mutt or dog or collared thing. Yes because he's literally named "The Brass Hound" but I also choose to believe it's because those are the provocations he responds to the most.
Ergo: Bethael absolutely has some very very very deep hatred for being ordered around. Is it another World Eater Khorne thing? Maybe! Probably even!
Why do I bring this up now? Because it ties back in with Bethael's fractured identity.
He doesn't like being ordered around like a dog, he doesn't like it when he can't make his own decisions, he doesn't like feeling owned, he doesn't like loss of agency.
What do the Nails do? They free him from control, he doesn't have to listen to things that hold him back, he can just keep fighting and fighting and fighting until he can't anymore. Just as he wants.
What else do the Nails do? They chain him, they collar him. He can't stop himself from attacking, he can't stop himself from doing things against his will.
He follows Khorne because Khorne gives him freedom, identity, and universal belonging. Universal belonging in the sense that everyone can understand violence, everyone can participate in violence, therefore everyone belongs when there is battle to be had. No language difference, or culture clashing, or any myriad of dividers, only blood death and war.
The only source of identity that he seems to have both for himself and for his frenzy is that he has no Master. He does not heed the call of anyone. Sure, he follows plans and he worships Khorne, but that is seen as freedom, as his own agency. He chooses to do these things and enjoys doing them out of his own will.
He vehemently refuses to accept the idea that the Chaos Gods are another collar because he does not want that anymore. If his only salvation was another collar, another Master, then what is left of him? What else can he cling to?
Until he's able to piece himself together there is Bethael who does not recognize himself when he is frenzied and Bethael who does not recognize himself when he is sane.
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Smth I find really interesting in Angel Exterminatus is the contrast between the iron warriors and the iron hands. And in a way, between Ferrus Manus and Perturabo. Theyâre both awful men who rule with an iron fist (hah). But the iron tenth had a⌠spark left that the iron warriors donât.
Which imo also kind of refuses Perturaboâs point Ferrus is a lot like him. Brutal. Uncompromising. Abrasive. He also threw men at problems. Ferrus was also self-conscious, and doubted himself a lot, and felt inferior compared to his brothers, but that never stopped Ferrus from like, actually trying. Ferrus built things and encouraged his sons to also build and design things (and they sometimes maybe even went a little too wild with it), meanwhile Perturabo locked himself into his own room to do a woe is me, the most special 14 year old that no one understands, routine.
âI was never allowed to build anythingâ perturabo who the fuck stopped you. Magnus ignored entreaties to look at mountains. Ferrus and Vulkan built things in their free time. Youâre one of the warrior gods of this age, please stop with the woe is me routine and gain some fucking perspective. If youâre too good to talk to mortals maybe talk to a custodes to learn what actual lack of freedom looks like.
Perturabo isolates himself into what he's expected to do and only sees himself in what others see him do, so he ends up in this increasing bitterness about only being used for war which is the only thing he does but also does it well so it creates this cycle of self-loathing despite efforts from others for him to branch out (Magnus being the most notable as they would do archeology and ask him to build an ancient greek machine which had no war purposes).
But like. Whoâs forcing him to do war the way he does. Whoâs forcing him to not build things. Is there like an imperial edict that âPerturabo isnât allowed to build things after complianceâ?
Like yes he got sent to the âhard theatersâ. As were Ferrus and Russ. His sister even points out that perturabo wages war in the most wasteful and inefficient way imaginable. Heâs the only one keeping himself trapped. Dude is persecuting *himself*. âHow dare my father treat the iron warriors this wayâ says man completely to blame for how the iron warriors are treated
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as im fiddling with my lists for 11th edition, i must admit to you all that khorne and i are not exclusive despite my beloved boy bethael. slaanesh daemons have had me in their grip since 8th edition and i fear the carnival of excess detachment is gonna be my go-to. i love my daemons #mydaemons
baby's first marine oc was in fact THIS GUYâbaalzebul saccharine, gluttonous daemon prince and blue raspberry sumbitch who is finally gonna get some proper love this edition (probably) (if i don't lose every match)
