The user formerly known as Ailuromatron

@bumblewyrm

You can call me Bee. she/her/flexible; old enough to know better; Bi/Pan/Queer; Mom; Spouse; Fangirl; multiply neurodivergent; Spoonie/Sporkie; Zookeeper to human spawn & cats. Wandered into Texas and got stuck. Sometimes I write things. Will beta SPAG for good yarn. Gamer-adjacent. Current interests include Critical Role (sooo far behind tho 💀), Hermitcraft (why??), SPN (send help), and a smattering of limited series anime. And some K-Pop (WTF). Also BumbleWyrm on AO3 and others. Fuck AI. And you can pry my em dashes and semicolons from my cold, dead hands.

11.4K posts

Posts

shutyourmoustache

When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

party-gilmore

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

greatmountainfloofsquatch

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

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free-my-mindd

#things I'll spend the rest of my life trying to undo #unwittingly doing this so thoroughly it passed down to my kids is near the top of my greatest regrets #conversely the narrative that anyone can do or have or be anything if they just put their mind to it does so much damage #ableism and privilege dressed up as grit™ and positivity

abigailspinach

cleo-fox

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

maple-seed

Both options convey that he's horny

cleo-fox

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

everythingfox

Really enjoying the scritches

icarus-suraki

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vidibit

Mutuals who I have hardly spoken with but we instead communicate through silently liking and reblogging each other's posts... I hope you're all having a lovely day ✨

ghostoffuturespast

fnordseer5

oh the wifi password yeah it's the nicene creed in its entirety

freebroccoli

*spends 15 minutes painstakingly typing the creed in its entirety*

"password is incorrect"

*remembers that my host is Orthodox, rewrites entire creed but without the filioque*

lynati

*copy-pastes the phrase, "the nicene creed in its entirety", instantly accesses the network*

thememedaddy

the-library-alcove

Reagan.

danaurrrr

People on this site love to talk about Epic of Gilgamesh being the very first doomed yaoi, but I don't see any appreciation for Tablet XII. Almost no officially published translations include it with the other tablets. It has nothing to do with the previous eleven tablets. It retells the entire epic in a roundabout way except gives it a happy ending where Gilgamesh manages to rescue Enkidu from the Netherworld.

You can't tell me that some scribe didn't finish transcribing the entire Epic of Gilgamesh only to get sad because of the bittersweet ending and write their own original poem giving Gilgamesh and Enkidu a happy ending.

In other words, Tablet XII is the very first fix-it fic.

cossachka-offical

(THAT WE KNOW OF)

elucubrare

You’ve heard of “i didn’t say it was good, i said i liked it,” get ready for “i said it had some technical problems & didn’t fully deliver on its themes, not that i didn’t like it”

elucubrare

#I voiced a criticism of some of its aspects#which in no way implies I did not like it#“and especially does not imply that I would like to hear a defense of it of the form 'shut up and let people have fun'”

REALLY endorsing these tags from galileosballs

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chaumas-deactivated20240115

the way prehistoric animal documentaries will talk about extinction like it happens because of “a failure to evolve” as though evolution is a meritocracy is so funny and so scary

chaumas-deactivated20240115

this species persisted over the eons because of its Protestant work ethic to produce more of a specific kind of digestive enzyme that allowed it to extract 4% more nutrients from the dominant plant species in the area

charlesoberonn

"You should've considered the possibility of asteroid impact before evolving to be a megafauna. Learn some genetic responsibility!"

beetusthatyeetus

John’s voicemail: If this is an emergency, call my son.

Sam’s voicemail: If this is an emergency, call my brother.

Dean’s voicemail: If this is an emergency, leave a message or try my other phone.

Bro is his own emergency contact on top of being everyone else’s I’m going to throw myself under a jet ski

deanwinchesterapologist

finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell

derinthescarletpescatarian

I wish I was holding a snake right now

chlorogoth

i wish we were both holding snakes right now

fullmetalcarer

derinthescarletpescatarian

Two snakes AND no bra. Living the dream.

animentality

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duckbunny

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

duckbunny

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

pseudomasochist

Flawless tags, @baddywronglegs

peterfromtexas-deactivated20250

Reenactor throws a spear at a drone

supapoopa

What a time to be alive.

tenthcorner

“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.

The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.

Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)

kineticpenguin

I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it