and everything else goes away

if there’s one thing a butch dyke is gonna do it’s wear the tackiest shirt you’ve ever seen. and she’s gonna look sooooo sexy in it too

everyone's talking about how "prev tags" is an integral part of how people use the site and now the update's ruined it and blah blah blah, but you can't fool me! I remember back when everyone was griping about how it's a degenerate innovation from twitter migrants and that real tumblr users write out the tags themselves

let it be known that i still hate it

#copy pasting out the tags is still just better

Mad because my river delta means my cities can only be besieged by naval forces you don't have.

Jumping up and down furiously and demanding that my court poets draft declamatory verses comparing you to a mandrill.

I am unaffected by your epic poetry because of my bountiful grain tributaries

Being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of my classmates told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when I asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was just a baby and to this day the mental image of NASA launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

twitter limiting the amount of tweets you get to read per day is ridiculous but if tiktok limited the amount of videos people got to see per day it would be the biggest win for mental health since ssris

actually carly rae jepsen was a genius when she said “before you came into my life i missed you so bad” and everyone who hated on that lyric just wasn’t smart enough to understand

for those of you that doubted me…i made a splendid focaccia this morning…yes with rosemary …. i am forever a changed man  because of it….